


Home for Christmas

by misheancolchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: College AU, F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Violence, bad language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:58:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8330452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misheancolchester/pseuds/misheancolchester
Summary: Dean invites his Roomate Cas for Christmas when his plans get cancelled





	1. Going Home

**Author's Note:**

> So I am posting about half of this now, in order to like get the energy to post the second half which remains unfinished, or work out if the remaining half is worth finishing. I know how I want it to end, but like no energy.

Dean was sitting in Charlies living room, he had had a few beers and was sitting peacefully staring into space with a goofy grin on his face. Charlie sat down beside Garth on the sofa. 

"I'm glad you decided to hang out with us before you left." Charlie said. "It's gonna be a bit lonely around here without you and Meg."

"Meg's leaving?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, she moves out next week." Garth said. "She graduated and found a job in New York." 

"Wow good for her." Dean said sipping his beer. Charlie and Garth exchanged glances. "What?" Dean asked.

"We were wondering if you wanted to take her room." Charlie replied. "I mean, it's closer to the university, it's cheaper, and slightly bigger, there's a pool."

Deans face wrinkled. "I don't know, it's so close to the end of my degree, to be moving now. I don't want to leave Cas in the lurch." Charlie gave Garth a knowing smile. "What? I don't want to run out on him this close to the end, he'd have trouble finding someone, especially over christmas."

"That's okay Dean, we'll find someone." Garth said.

"The offer still stands if you change your mind." Charlie said. "If you can stand to move away from Cas." Dean sipped his beer.

"You know he got an A plus on his last assignment." Dean said. "He is so smart."

"So are you going to ask him out?" Charlie asked.

"Where?" Dean asked.

"On a date you dolt." Charlie said rolling her eyes. Dean looked confused.

“Why?” He asked. Charlie rolled her eyes. 

“Nevermind,” She said. 

*************************************************************************************************

It was about 9am. The alarm clock was supposed to go off at 6am, and Dean was supposed to have left at 7am. Things don't always go according to plan. He was going to hit the traffic which meant he was going to be several hours later than he anticipated. He was stuffing the last of his clothes in his duffel bag when his bedroom door opened. 

"Hey, I thought you were heading to Illinois?" Dean called out.

"I thought you were headed for Kansas." Cas replied. 

"Slept in." Dean said. "I thought you had an early flight?" Castiel sat down on Deans bed and sighed deeply.

"I got a call, my parents are going overseas for the Christmas break." Castiel said. "It was a last minute decision." He picked up the pillow off the bed and wrapped his arms around it. 

"That sucks. So you're going to stay here for Christmas?" Dean asked. He stopped the packing and looked up at his Christmas sweater wearing friend. Cas sighed again and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. I mean, I won't be the only student." He replied.

"Yeah, but..." Dean paused. "You shouldn't be alone on Christmas."

"It's fine Dean. It wouldn't be the first time." Castiel replied. Dean furrowed his brow.

"That's it." Dean said. "You're going to have Christmas with me and my family."

"Dean, I don't know."

"Look, it'll just be me, my mom, my brother and his girlfriend, Jess. Seriously, one more mouth isn't going to make a difference." Dean replied. Castiel shifted awkwardly and looked away, his cheeks turning slightly red.

"Will it be okay with your folks?" Castiel asked.

Dean picked up his mobile and dialed home.

"Hey Mom, I'm going to be a little late," Dean said raising a finger to silence Castiel who had opened his mouth to protest. "Yeah, I slept in. Hey, is it okay if I bring my roommate Cas with me? Yeah, his family is going overseas. Yeah?! Awesome. Awesome. I'll see you in a few hours." Dean hung up and grinned. Cas gave a sheepish smile.

"I appreciate your kindness Dean." Cas said.

"We've been Roommates for two and a half years Cas. How many times have I woken you up at three in the morning, rolling in drunk, and occasionally with a girl? It's the least I could do. Especially that time I got food poisoning and vomited on the kitchen floor, and you cleaned it up while I was passed out."

"Yes Dean. I remember, vividly." Cas replied with a smirk. Dean grinned.

"So really, I owe you one Winchester Christmas." Dean replied. 

"Fine, Dean." Castiel replied with a fake exasperated sigh. Dean grinned.

"Great, pack your bags, we're in for a long drive." Dean said clapping Cas on the shoulder. 

*************************************************************************************************

They climbed into the Impala. Castiel made himself comfortable and tightened his seatbelt. Dean turned on the radio to a soft rock station and pulled out of the driveway.

"So how long will this trip be?" Castiel asked. Dean glanced over at him.

"A few hours, we should be there by about 10." Dean replied.

"So, are you sure your mother was fine with me staying?" Cas asked.

"Of course, I mean, she knows we've been roommates for a while, and that your parents travel, that you're studying psychology and fine art." Dean replied.

"How much did you tell your mother about me?" Castiel asked surprised.

"Just enough that she doesn't think I'm rooming with a meth addict or a criminal." 

"Not that those things are mutually exclusive." Castiel said. Dean huffed a laugh. 

"Don't you talk to your parents?" Dean asked. Castiel sighed.

"I have a lot of siblings." Cas replied. "Sometimes I get lost in the crowd." 

"Well, you're an honorary Winchester this year." Dean said grinning. 

"As payment for all the crap I put up with." Cas said grinned back.

"Better start making a list, so we can work out how many Christmas's I owe you." Dean replied. "I want to make sure I pay all my debts."

Castiel chuckled. "I may have to add interest."

*************************************************************************************************

A few hours later they had stopped for a bathroom break and something to eat before heading back on the road.

"So what is your family like?" Castiel asked. 

"My Mom makes a mean apple pie. My dad died a few years ago, she was heartbroken, but she got through it, and as far as I know she's in a good place. She lives for me and my brothers’ visits. My brother goes to Stanford, with his girlfriend Jess. She's just as sweet as anything and keeps my brother out of trouble. You'll like them, and I'm sure they'll like you just as much." Dean replied.

"Of course they'll like me, I'm amazing." Cas said.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that." Dean quipped. Castiel huffed.

"Well, I'm sure they'll love me more than you." Cas replied. 

"To tell you the truth, they probably will." Dean laughed. "You get better grades and are better behaved." Castiel smiled.

"I do try." Castiel replied. Dean huffed a laugh. "Oh I love this song." Castiel said leaning forward to turn the music up. Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory began to play. Castiel started to sing along. Dean grinned and shook his head as Castiels deep rumbling voice began to fill the car. He wasn't a bad singer, but Dean had never heard him sing before and he made a mental note to play more bon jovi in their small house, but the thought was lost when the first chorus played and Dean joined in. 

When the song ended Castiel leaned forward and turned down the music again. Dean was smiling and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. They fell into a comfortable silence. Castiel stared out the window. 

"Hey... so ah.. tell me about your family." Dean asked, breaking the silence. Castiel sighed and looked at Dean.

"I have Five older brothers, three older sisters, and one younger brother and one younger sister. There's Lucifer, Michael, Raphael, Gabriel and Hester, Naomi, then Anna and Zachariah and then me, and then Balthazar and Hael."

"Wow. Your parents were busy." Dean said. Castiel smirked. 

"Yeah, but we're all out of home now. Most of my siblings are scattered over the country, and all over the world. I barely see them, usually we get together on special holidays, but since Hael moved out of home to go to nursing school my parents have started spending holidays abroad visiting my elder siblings. Because I'm a student, I can't afford to join them, and there's no space for them to stay with me."

Dean scratched his chin. "Well, as my Uncle Bobby says, 'Family don't end with blood'" He gave Castiel a sidelong smile. Castiel smiled back. They fell back into the comfortable silence.

*************************************************************************************************

The next 15 miles the car was silent save for the low rumble of the engine, and the sound of the radio station playing. It started to get dark and a new sound filled the car. Dean turned to look at Cas and saw that he had dozed off. His dark hair stuck up at odd angles and his breath fogged up the window. Dean smiled, and a warm feeling pooled in his stomach. He quickly turned back to the road as he assessed what he was feeling. He supposed it was a fondness for his friend. He brushed the feeling aside and concentrated on the road. They were only a few hours away. 

He remembered how he and Cas had met, after a year in the dorms, Dean answered the add on the uni bulletin board for a room in a two bedroom town house close to the College. When he applied, he was a bit dubious about the quiet, bookish second year whose previous roommate had run off leaving several weeks of rent debt behind, but after 10 minutes of Castiel Novaks questions they began to hit it off and the nerdy Psych student offered him the room. Castiel had explained his parents owned the house, so rent was slightly cheaper than it would have been, and they trusted him enough not to check in every month for inspection.

Their schedules always clashed so it was a rare moment when they actually had time to talk. They didn't share food, Dean worked part time as a mechanic on the weekends and any time he wasn't studying. They hardly disagreed, and their conversations were always brief and amicable. As Dean thought back, he realised this was one of the few times they had ever spent this long in each others company, but he felt as though they were close friends. Dean smirked, he supposed once you pick up your roommate off the floor and clean up his vomit there is a bond formed that cannot be broken.

Now he was sleeping shotgun in Deans car. Deans glanced over at Castiel again, and smiled. He turned back to the road. They passed a sign indicating another 30 miles. He sighed, they were almost there.


	2. Arrival

When Dean pulled the Impala up the driveway behind his mother’s Volvo he noticed the lights were out. He was more than just a little bit late. He turned off the car and turned to Castiel who was still dozing in the passenger seat.

Dean shook Castiels arm.

"Hey, Cas, wake up, we're here." Dean said. Castiel stirred and grumbled under his breath. Then he opened his eyes and looked at Dean. 

"Hello Dean." Castiel said stretching. "How long was I out?"

"Oh ages. We're here. But it's late, so we have to be quiet and try not to wake anyone up."

Castiel rubbed his eyes and Dean ignored the thought that he was rather cute when sleepy. 

"Sorry I wasn't good company." Castiel said. 

"It's fine, you didn't snore. Come on. It's gonna be cold." Dean said. They quietly exited the car and grabbed their bags. Dean locked the car and they walked to the front door. Dean checked the door, and thankfully his mother had been kind enough to leave it unlocked. 

Dean pressed his fingers to his lips and they opened the door and tiptoed in. Dean closed the door behind him. 

The living room was dark, and Dean suddenly became self concious of all his childhood and baby pictures that were on the walls. He hurried Cas up the stairs and down the hall to his old room. He felt his cheeks turn red at the old wooden name on the door that had a blue train on it. He opened the door, turned on the light and saw that his mother had set up a camp bed beside his own bed.

Dean threw his bag on the camp bed. Castiel looked puzzled.

"What?" Dean whispered. "You're a guest. You get the comfortable bed." Castiel smiled sheepishly and opened his bag and pulled out his pjs. Dean smirked into his own bag, trying not to stare at the pajama wearing dork. Dean undressed and pulled on an old ratty tshirt. Castiel climbed into bed and Dean turned out the light before climbing into a bed.

"Goodnight Dean." Castiel said. Dean smiled in the darkness.

"Goodnight Cas." Dean replied. Castiel rolled over and fell back asleep.

*************************************************************************************************

When Castiel woke the next morning, it took him a few moments to reorient himself. He remembered he was in Deans bedroom and an involuntary smile broke out on his face. He rolled over and saw that Dean was still asleep.

It wasn't the first time he had found himself watching the man snooze. Dean had fallen asleep on the sofa with a beer dozens of times, in front of the tv. This was different, he didn't know why it was different but it was. Perhaps his perception of their friendship changed when Dean implied he considered them to be family. Dean looked content, wrapped up in a blanket, his frame barely fitting on the bed, and his feet sticking out the end. Castiel smiled. 

Dean opened one eye, and tried not to smile when he said "And what are you looking at?" 

Maintaining his composure, Castiel put a concerned look on his face. "I was staring at the hideous growth on your neck." Dean instinctively reached a hand to his neck. "Oh wait, it's just your head." Castiel said with a grin. Dean laughed and threw his pillow at Castiels head. Castiel laughed and tucked Deans pillow under his head. "Thank you for the gift, I like having two pillows." Castiel said. "I'm going back to sleep." Castiel rolled over and closed his eyes, pulling the blanket over his head. Dean climbed off his bed and ripped the blankets off the bed. Castiel stretched and rolled onto his back.

"You should really act your age." Dean said. 

"I know. But this is more fun." Castiel said looking up at Dean. Castiels stomach rumbled loudly and Dean burst out laughing.

"I think it's time for breakfast. You can get dressed if you want, but you won't need to. I usually wander down like this first thing." Dean said.

"I know. We do share a house Dean." Castiel said rolling his eyes. 

"Come on, I'm starving." Dean said. 

"Alright." Castiel said. 

*************************************************************************************************

They walked down to the kitchen, chasing the smell of bacon and toast. 

"Morning Mom." Dean called. 

"I saw your car in the driveway this morning." Mary said. "I figured you boys would like breakfast." She said. Dean grinned and gave his mother a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"You are amazing." Dean said. "Mom, this is Cas." He said pointing to Castiel in his blue striped pajamas.

"Pleased to meet you Mrs. Winchester." Castiel said politely. Mary looked Castiel up and down and smiled.

"It's good to finally meet you." Mary replied and she gave him a brief hug. Castiel smiled and was glad to be greeted warmly, he felt less like he was imposing.

They sat down at the dining table and Mary put plates in front of them. Dean began to dig in. Castiel paused briefly to say a silent prayer before he started. When he did he ate with Relish. 

Mary sat across from them with some toast.

"How was the drive?" Mary asked. 

"It was good. We left a little late. Is Sammy here?"

"He and Jess arrived yesterday afternoon. They'll be up shortly." Mary said. 

"Awesome." Dean said. As he replied a shaggy haired behemoth in a plaid shirt and jeans walked into the room.

"Hey Dean." Sam said. His eyes fell upon the dark haired man sitting beside his brother. 

"Mornin' Sam. This is my roommate Cas, he's joining us for Christmas." Dean said. 

"Oh, you poor bastard," Sam said to Castiel. "Having to put up with my annoying brother every day of your life." Castiel chuckled.

"He is a handful, but I manage." Castiel replied. Sam laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

Sam grabbed a plate and sat down beside Mary with eggs and bacon. Jess walked in shortly after and grabbed some toast and bacon.

"Good morning, everyone." She said brightly. She kissed Sam on the top of his head before sitting down adjacent to him. 

"Morning. Cas, this Jess, she's the poor girl who puts up with my brother every day of her life." Dean said. 

"Pleased to meet you." Castiel said after swallowing his mouthful.

"The pleasure is all mine." Jess said. She gave Sam a significant look.

"So I see you haven't got a tree yet." Dean said wiping his mouth with a paper napkin. 

"Why would I put up a tree myself when I have two sons who can do it for me." Mary said slyly. 

Sam and Dean rolled their eyes. 

"Well it looks like we know what we're doing after breakfast." Sam said. 

"You're doing the dishes." Mary said. "Then getting a christmas tree." She stood up and put her plate by the sink. "I love having my boys back home." She said ruffling Deans hair. Sam and Dean exchanged amused exhasperated looks.

"Of course." Dean said. Mary vanished from the kitchen, leaving the boys and Jess to their work. 

"Feel free to join mom in the living room." Dean said to Cas and Jess. Jess grinned at Cas. 

"Come on, we'll get Mary to bring out the embarrassing childhood photos." Jess said. Cas chuckled and they both stood up and left Dean and Sam alone in the kitchen.

"You wash, I'll dry." Dean said. 

*************************************************************************************************

When the dishes were almost done, Sam broke the silence.

"So you and Cas?" Sam asked. Deans head turned swiftly to his brother.

"What?" Dean replied.

"You guys seem rather close." Sam said.

"Yeah, we're roommates." Dean replied. "We see each other almost every day." 

"Yeah, he seems cool." Sam replied, a smirk played around his lips. "He really seems to like you."

"Are you implying something." Dean said shortly.

"No, I mean, unless there is something to imply."

"I get enough of this from Charlie, seriously Sammy, there is nothing." Dean said. Sam chuckled. 

"Sure Dean." Sam said washing the last dish.

*************************************************************************************************

They walked out into the living room where Mary was sitting with Jess and Cas their eyes focused on the pages of a photo album.

"This is Sam, in his Magician phase." Mary said. 

"Awww look how cute he is!" Jess exclaimed, "In his little black suit and top hat." Dean nudged Sam and chuckled.

"And this is Dean, when he was in the boy scouts." Mary said. "I assume this will make for many jokes." Castiel grinned and looked up at Dean. 

"It will have its uses." Castiel replied knowingly. Dean rolled his eyes.

"Shall we go get this tree?" Dean asked. 

"Of course." Castiel said as he stood up. Sam nudged Dean in the arm.

"Jess, you going to come?" Sam asked. 

"Sure." She said smiling. "Someone will need to supervise."


	3. Preparations

They dragged the massive tree up the driveway to the house. Shaking the snow from the branches Jess opened the door and the boys dragged it inside. Dean held the middle while Cas took the front and Sammy the rear. They sat the tree down in the living room and set it up.

Dean brushed the nettles off his shirt and looked over at Cas. The cold and the exertion had reddened his cheeks, and he was smiling merrily at their hard work. Deans stomach flipped and he couldn't stop the goofy grin from spreading across his face. Sammy straightened the tree.

"Hey, so where do you think Mom kept the decorations" Sam asked. 

"Here." Mary said entering the room with a large cardboard box. She dropped it on the floor. "I'd like to get the supermarket before it gets too busy and all the good stuff is gone." Mary said. "Who'd like to go with me?"

"Sammy and Jess will help with the shopping. Me and Cas will trim the tree." Dean said. 

"Sounds like a plan." Sam said. 

*************************************************************************************************

Dean wrapped the Christmas lights around the tree while Castiel sat on the floor and untangled the tinsel. Dean reached up and stuck the angel on the top of the tree. As he did so Castiel noticed Deans shirt lift exposing his stomach. Castiel paused and stared for a moment. How many times he had seen Dean stepping out of the shower, or his bedroom, he never really noticed. He wasn't even sure why he was noticing now. He felt the colour rise to his cheeks and he lowered his eyes to his work.

"Pass me the birdie ornaments." Dean said. Castiel handed over the small ice cream container of robin shaped ornaments. As he handed it to Dean their fingers brushed, and Castiel watched as a now rather red cheeked Dean began to hang up the little birds on the tree. Castiel smiled, and a warm feeling pooled in his stomach. As he untangled the tinsel and sorted through the ornaments he watched as Dean deftly hung them on the branches, his brow furrowed in concentration.

When he finished untangling everything, he stood up to help Dean hang the ornaments. Dean watched Castiel out of the corner of his eye. The little dork was in a wooly sweater and blue jeans. His hair was mussed and there was glitter in it, he smiled and shook his head. Sams words came back to him... the insinuation that something was between them.

"Here, can you hold this?" Castiel said holding out a box of baubles. Dean hung up the turtle doves and took the box from Castiels hand. He must have had a strange expression on his face because Castiels head tilted slightly. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine, why do you ask?" Dean replied. 

"Nothing, never mind." Castiel said quickly untangled his feet from the pile of tinsel and then took the box of Baubles back from Dean. They continued on in silence. 

*************************************************************************************************

"Wow, that looks really good." Sam said with surprise. Dean and Castiel had finished the tree as the Mary, Jess and Sam arrived home.

They deposited the bags in the kitchen and Mary proceeded to start the preparation for Christmas dinner. It would be only early preparation, being the day before Christmas eve.

Jess sat with Sam and Cas on the sofa, and turned on a Christmas Carol.

"I'm gonna go out." Dean said awkwardly. "I ahh, have some last minute shopping to do."

"I think I'll go with you." Sam said. "I have a few things to get also." Sam stood up and they left. Castiel was about to join them, when he decided to give Dean some time with his brother. Jess seemed like pleasant enough company, and he didn't really want to impose.

Dean pulled the car out of the driveway.

"You really like him don't you." Sam said.

"What are you talking about Sammy?" Dean asked.

"Come on Dean, I know you. In the entire two years you were dating Lisa, you never once invited her to Christmas Dinner. Not thanksgiving, hell, not even your birthday. Sure you liked her, and you enjoyed her company, but we hardly even saw her."

"Sam, what are you talking about? Cas was going to be spending Christmas alone. Lisa had her own family she spent the holidays with. You are reading way too much into this." Dean said. "Why are we even having this conversation?"

"I've seen the way you look at him." Sam said.

"What?! We've been here less than a day, what are you basing this on?" Dean asked.

"Why are you being so defensive?"

"Because he's my roommate, if you make this awkward between me and him, then I'll have to move, don't make it weird Sammy. Don't you dare say anything to him." Dean said. "I will beat you to the ground if you do."

"Fine Dean." Sam said folding his arms.

"I am serious Sam. If you try to talk to him about your theories I will gank you." Dean snapped.

"You'll gank me?" Sam asked with a grin spreading across his face.

"Yeah, and you should be afraid." Dean said seriously.

"Because you'll Gank me." Sam said. "Seriously where do you learn this stuff?"

Dean tightened his grip on the wheel.

"Look, I won't say anything to Cas." Sam said. "I'll preserve your illusion."

"Thank you." Dean said. "Wait, my illusion?"

"Dean. Lets not talk about this anymore." Sam said brightly. Dean looked at him suspiciously. Then he gave Dean a smug look and said "So, who are you buying the gift for?" Dean sank slightly in his seat, his cheeks turning red.

"There are no presents under the tree for him. I think he should have at least one. I didn't think I would see him over Christmas so I didn't get him anything." Dean said quickly.

*************************************************************************************************

"What about this?" Sam said holding up a tan trenchcoat. Dean looked at it and furrowed his brow.

"No. I don't want to buy him clothes." Dean said.

"What about a nice pen."

"No." Dean replied. 

"A tie?"

"No."

"Socks." 

"No!"

"Fine. What about a journal?" Sam suggested. Dean paused.

"A Journal could work." Dean replied. They paused outside a stationary shop and Dean looked in the window. They walked inside and wandered around. After a few minutes Dean saw the perfect Journal. It was black with this swirly silver and blue embossing, it had a button catch and seemed to be quite sturdy.

"That is nice." Sam said over Deans shoulder.

"Yeah, it's perfect." Dean said. He caught the smug expression on his brothers face and he rolled his eyes. 

"Okay, come on, I have to find something for Mom." Sam said. 

*************************************************************************************************

When Dean and Sam returned, Mary was still in the kitchen preparing dinner, and Jess and Cas were sitting in front of the television watching "Die Hard."

"So you're telling me, that because John McLane is a New York Cop in LA, the entire film has a subtext of anti-capitalism and that the real terrorists are Takagi and the other business men in the building." Jess asked.

"Of course, not to mention the misogynistic idea that it is his wife that is breaking up the marriage because she took the job, rather than him being stuck in the old fashioned gender roles." Cas replied. "However, his wife is pretty smart and badass." Cas replied. 

Dean sat down in the armchair closest to Cas and Sam sat down beside Jess.

"Ah Die Hard." Sam said. "One of the greatest Christmas movies ever."

The four continued to watch, and a few moments later Mary joined them.

"Okay, so there will be a lot more preparation tomorrow." She said. "And I'll need all hands on deck."

The four nodded in agreement.

"Your Uncle Bobby and Aunt Jody will be stopping by tomorrow so we'll be having a Christmas eve lunch." Mary said.


	4. Home Comforts

They watched movies for the rest of the day. Eating popcorn and making jokes as they plowed through a number of Christmas movies. 

Jess and Sam snuggled together on the sofa. He stroked her hair gently. Cas had shifted to the other arm chair to give them more space. He felt oddly cold and wondered if the room had a heater. He folded his arms across his chest and continued to watch two burglars try to break into a house on the screen.

"Anyone want a drink?" Dean asked. Everyone shook their heads. "Not even hot chocolate?"

"Actually..." Sam started.

"Too late, offers done." Dean said standing up. Sam laughed.

About a minute later Dean returned with a blanket under his arm. He threw it onto Castiels lap and returned to the kitchen. When he came back he was holding two mugs of Hot chocolate. 

He walked over to Cas who was now wrapped up in the blanket and handed him the mug. Castiel took it with a sheepish smile and a small thank you.

Castiel curled up on the arm chair. He tried to hide the smile and his blush behind the cup. He had been cold, and without even saying anything, Dean had known, and fixed it.

*************************************************************************************************

 

The credits rolled and Dean drained the last of his hot chocolate. They had ordered Pizza for dinner and Mary had gone to bed early. Sam stretched and yawned. He kissed Jess on the cheek. She smiled and turned and kissed him on the lips.

"Time for bed?" She asked. He nodded and kissed her back. She took his hand and they walked up the stairs to Sams room leaving Dean and Cas alone. 

"One more movie?" Cas asked. Dean shrugged and then yawned, his eyes were drooping and he looked exhausted. "I think it's time for Bed." Castiel said. Dean looked terribly cute when he was sleepy.

"Yeah I think so too." Dean said with another yawn. He smiled sleepily to Cas. Castiel stood up and walked over to Dean who still hadn't moved.

"Come on then you lump." Castiel said pulling on Deans arm. Dean let Cas pull him to his feet. 

"Alright alright." Dean said grinning stupidly. Castiel smiled back and they climbed the stairs to Deans room.

As Dean opened his bedroom door, Castiel debated on thanking him for the hot chocolate and the blanket, but he decided against it. Dean didn't say anything when the kindness was presented, he found it prudent not to say anything back. 

Dean stripped down to his boxers and t-shirt and slumped down on the camp bed and closed his eyes. 

"Night Cas." He mumbled.

"Good Night Dean." Castiel replied. Dean was out like a light and had fallen asleep. Castiel smiled, and he pulled the covers around his friend, making sure he would stay warm. Castiel knew he'd returned Deans favour. He climbed into the bed and snuggled deep under the covers.

*************************************************************************************************

"Dean! Wake up!" Sam called knocking on the door. Dean jolted awake and saw the sunlight streaming through the window. He looked over at his bed and saw the Cas was already awake and downstairs.

"Yeah, yeah I'm up!" Dean grunted. 

He climbed out of bed and stretched. He pulled on his jeans and opened his bedroom door. Sam was standing there waiting.

"Uncle Bobby and Aunt Jody will be here soon." Sam said. "We have to move your bed down into the living room."

"What?!" Dean asked surprised. "Why?"

"They're staying the night, and spending Christmas with us." Sam said. 

"Where am I going to sleep?" Dean asked.

"On the sofa downstairs." Sam said. "It's all been worked out."

"Alright." Dean said slightly annoyed.

"Dude, don't sulk it's just for one night." Sam said. "Now help me get the thing down the stairs."

Dean frowned and helped his brother drag the inflatable camp bed down the stairs. There was much struggling, and swearing, but they managed to cram it in the space between the sofa and the television. Dean replaced the the blankets and made the bed. 

Mary, Jess and Cas were sitting at the Dining room table with mugs of coffee.

"Good Morning." Mary said. They looked up at the half asleep, Dean.

"Morning everyone." Dean said. Castiel smiled behind his cup of coffee. Dean poured himself a cup and sat down. He noticed Castiel was in a blue sweater and a white collared shirt. He had also shaved, and his hair was wet from a shower. He stopped himself from staring too long. 

"So Bobby and Jody are staying the night." Mary said. "You'll be on the couch."

"I know, Sammy said, we just moved the bed." Dean said.

"So we just need to prepare lunch." Jess said.

"I need a few more items from the Supermarket." Mary said. "Just a few items."

"I'll go," Dean said.

"I'll go with you." Castiel said. Deans stomach flipped and he tried not to smile. Mary nodded.

"Alright." She said. "Here is the list." She handed Dean a piece of paper with the list of items.

Dean scanned it and clapped his hand on the table.

"Right, let's go." Dean said standing up.


	5. Home Discomfort

Castiel climbed into the Impala. Dean got behind the drivers seat and started the engine.

"So how are you liking it here?" Dean asked when they were out of the driveway.

"Your family is very nice." Castiel said. "And the house is lovely." Dean grinned. "Your brother Sam, and Jess are very friendly.

"I'm glad, and to think you almost missed out on this." Dean replied. Castiel smiled.

"Thank you for inviting me."

"Anytime." Dean replied giving Castiel a side long glance and small smile. 

*************************************************************************************************

They walked into the supermarket, Castiel took control of the trolley and Dean took the list.

"Okay, Dean, what is the first item?" Castiel asked. 

"It looks like we are picking up Salad ingredients." Dean said. "Then bread and butter, cheese, and ham, and cooking oil." 

"Alright." Castiel said. "Lets get this done." Dean grinned and the began to gather the items on the list. 

*************************************************************************************************

"I think, we have everything." Dean said with a smile. Castiel smiled, he couldn't help it, Deans eyes crinkled and his eyes brightened when he smiled. It was infectious. 

Castiel pulled the trolley up to the counters.

"Whipped Cream!" Dean said. "We forgot whipped cream." Dean rushed off to the dairy aisle. The line grew shorter while Dean was appeared. 

The teller began to run their items over the machine. She was a dark haired girl with dark eyes. She looked about to be in her early twenties. She smiled warmly at Castiel and he smiled back.

"Having a good day?" She asked. 

"Yes. It is has been very good." Castiel said. "And you?"

"So far, but it's Christmas eve, who knows what will happen." She said.

Dean ran up and placed the whipped cream on the counter. He was still smiling until he saw the teller. His expression dropped.

"Lisa, hi!" He said. She gave Dean an apraising look. 

"Dean Winchester. It's been a long time." She said smiling.

"Yeah, not since senior year." Dean said slowly, she slid the cream across the scanner and placed it in the bag.

"Are you two together?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. Castiel and Dean exchanged an awkward glance.

"Lisa, this is my College Roommate Castiel. He's staying for christmas." Dean said. "Cas, this is Lisa, she was my high school girlfriend."

"Pleased to meet you." Castiel said holding out his hand. She didn't take it, but her smile became a little fixed. Castiel lowered his hand slowly.

"Pleasure." She said stiffly. Dean felt the colour rise to his cheeks and he cursed in his head. He should have made Sammy and Jess do the shopping. Lisa rang up their total and Dean paid. 

"It was good to see you again." Dean said as Castiel rolled the trolley out of the store.

"Y'know, I guess I was right." She said a little too brightly.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked.

"I just didn't think you'd try to pass off your boyfriend as your roommate." She whispered. Dean narrowed his eyes.

"Cas, isn't my boyfriend." Dean said sharply. 

"No, no I get it, you don't want your family to know." Lisa said. "But I can tell."

"What are you basing this on?" Dean asked.

"Because you look at him, like you used to look at me." Lisa hissed.

Dean snatched the receipt from her hand.

"I've always called it as I saw it." She said raising her hands. Dean froze for a moment before continuing out the door. 

Dean silently helped pack the groceries into the back of the Impala. Castiel could tell something was bothering him. He didn't want to say anything, he figured seeing Lisa again upset him. It wasn't any of his business, not really anyway. Dean would perk up after lunch, He hadn't had breakfast and food always put him in a better mood.

Castiel stared out the window of the Impala, waiting for Dean to break the silence. 

Dean kept glancing over at Castiel. He wanted to say something, something that wouldn't make him feel awkward. He hated the fact that everyone he seemed adamant that there was something when there wasn't. He glanced over at Castiel again, then back at the road. His hands clenched on the steering wheel. 

After a few moments Castiel decided to speak.

"So what is your mother planning for christmas dinner?" Castiel asked.

"Probably the standard, chicken, ham and lamb." Dean replied. "Roast veggies, and her famous apple pie."

"Sounds really good." Castiel said. "I am looking forward to it." He smiled, and Dean grinned and the tension fell from his shoulders.

"Great, because there will be plenty." Dean said. They fell into silence again as they pulled into the driveway.

Dean stopped the car and climbed out. Castiel followed and they carried the bags inside. 

They walked inside to Bobby and Jody sitting on the sofa with beers in their hands.

"Hey Dean!" Bobby said. 

"Hey Uncle Bobby." Dean replied giving his uncle a hug. Castiel took the bags into the kitchen. "Aunt Jody." 

"Hello Dean," She hugged him and kissed his cheek. Castiel emerged from the kitchen. "Who's your friend?"

"This is my roommate Castiel." Dean replied. "He's staying for the holidays."

"Pleased to meet you Castiel. That is a strange name." Jody said. 

"It's a family name." Castiel replied politely. "My parents named us all after Angels." 

There was an awkward silence. 

"Does anyone have a drink?" Dean asked. 

"Beer's in the fridge." Bobby said with a smile. 

"Get another beer for me too." Jody said. Dean nodded and he and Cas walked into the kitchen. Sam and Jess were cutting vegetables at the table. 

Cas sat down at the table to assist with the prep and Dean took three beers out of the fridge and joined his relatives in the living room.


	6. After Lunch

They all sat around the table which had been extended to house the extra guests. Jess Mary and Jody sat on one side, Bobby sat at the head of the table, Sam at his opposite and adjacent to Jess. Jody was adjacent to Bobby and Mary was between them. Cas and Dean sat opposite them.

"This is really good Mary." Bobby said.

"I had a lot of help." Mary said. "And I wouldn't eat too much, there's plenty for tomorrow." 

"So Dean," Bobby started. "How's that Impala running?"

Dean grinned, delighted by the topic.

"She's running like a dream." Dean replied. 

"You'll have to let me take her out for a spin." Bobby said. Dean huffed a laugh.

"Sure thing." Dean said. "Just not while you've had a few beers." Bobby laughed.

"Touché boy." Bobby said.

*************************************************************************************************

When lunch was over Sam and Jess went out for a walk around the town. Mary, Bobby and Jody started reminiscing in the living room. Castiel felt awkward, and a little out of place, but he stuck it out. Then his phone started to ring, Dean watched as he looked at the callers name and his face dropped. He excused himself to Deans old bedroom in order to obtain some solitude for the call. Dean sat with his family in the living room for a bit. After about 20 minutes, Cas still hadn't returned, and Dean grew a little worried.

When he was sure no-one was paying attention Dean slipped away, leaving his mother and relatives to talk on their own. He ascended the stairs and stood outside his bedroom door.

"I'm not at home," He heard Cas say.

The voice on the phone was rather loud, Dean wondered if he had put the phone on speaker. 

"Where are you then? Mom and Dad are worried about you." The voice said.

"No, they're worried about how they'll appear to their church." Cas replied sardonically.

"Castiel, where are you?" The voice said. "At least let them know where you are."

"What did they tell you happened?" Castiel asked, then he back tracked. "Look it doesn't matter, I'm in Kansas. Lawrence to be exact. Staying with a friend."

"Okay. Okay." The voice replied. "You want me to visit when you get back."

"No. It's fine. I'm fine. Everything is fine. I am actually being very rude right now and neglecting my hosts. So I'm hanging up now." Castiel said. 

"Okay Cassie, I'll talk to you another time." 

"Bye." Castiel said. Dean waited a few moments before opened his bedroom door and slid inside. Castiel was sitting on his bed, his phone in front of him, and he had picked up a book off the shelf. He looked up as Dean closed the door behind him.

Castiel looked back at his book.

"Did you take that from my shelf?" Dean asked deciding to ignore the conversation he had overheard.

"I tried to find your diary, but this was the next best thing." Castiel said blandly. Dean smirked. 

"So what are you doing up here?" Dean asked.

"It's getting late." Castiel said. "Your family is nice, but I needed a moment to collect myself."

"I understand." Dean said. "That's why I'm up here." Castiel smiled. 

There as an awkward silence.

"Would you like to join me?" Castiel said. Dean nodded and pulled an old dog eared copy of Slaughter House 5 of his shelf. He sat down on the bed beside Cas and began to read.


	7. Christmas Morning

When Dean woke the next morning, he wasn't sure where he was, only that he was comfortable. He had his arms wrapped around someone, and they were holding tight to his left arm. They smelled of honey, he sighed heavily and pressed his lips against their neck. He didn't remember going to bed with anyone, other than reading with Cas.

His eyes shot open. He froze, his eyes wide as he realised who he was holding. He slowly tried to remove his arm to prevent an awkward situation. He couldn't believe he'd just kissed Castiels neck.

"Dean?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah?" Dean replied slowly.

Castiel let go of Deans arm and Dean slowly extracated himself. Cas sat up his eyes trained on Dean.

"I think we fell asleep." Dean said. Castiel looked at Deans mildly terrified expression. Castiel smirked and chuckled.

"Yeah. And now I know you're a cuddler." Cas replied. Dean smiled with relief, and Castiel chuckled. 

"Well, it was a cold night." Dean said. 

"That's your excuse?" Castiel asked. 

"Shut up you dork." Dean said with a stupid grin.

"I am hurt!" Castiel said. 

"And you were holding pretty tight to my arm there, buddy." Dean replied "There may be bruises." Castiel chuckled.

"I doubt it, it was soft and warm like a teddy bear." Castiel replied. 

"So I'm a teddy bear now." Dean replied.

"Of course, a big ol' teddy bear with stuffing for brains." Castiel said.

"I'll give you stuffing for brains." Dean replied picking up a pillow and socking him over the head. Castiel laughed. 

"Now I am really hurt." Castiel said. Dean laughed and rolled his eyes. 

"I'm sorry Cas." Dean said. "I didn't..."

"Don't worry." Cas said waving his hand. "Let's just hope nobody saw."

Dean grinned. "Knowing our luck." 

Cas rolled his eyes. 

Dean chuckled and lay back on the bed across Castiels legs.

"Merry Christmas Cas." Dean said. Castiel looked surprised and then beamed at him.

"Merry Christmas Dean." Castiel said. They stared at each other for a few moments in silence. Then Deans eyes went wide.

"Presents." Dean said sitting up. Castiel rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Come on!"  
He grabbed Castiels arm and dragged him out of the bedroom. 

*************************************************************************************************

Everyone was seated around the tree. Dean, and Sam, like children were seated beside the tree. Bobby, Jody and Mary were seated on the sofa. Jess was in one arm chair and Castiel was in the other. 

Sam started handing out the gifts, one by one. Mary got a bottle of perfume from Dean, and a Book voucher from Sam, and a bottle of wine from Bobby and Jody. Dean got a toolbox from Bobby and Jody, a New leather jacket from Mary, and a few Plaid shirts from Sam. Sam got a book vouchers all around, and managed to accumulate more than 200 dollars worth. Jess got a nice blouse from Dean, and a necklace from Sam, and book vouchers from Mary. 

"And one present for Cas." Sam said passing the present to Castiel, who looked absolutely mortified. Everyone else was still going over their presents, and Bobby had opened the biscuit sampler he got from Dean and Sam. 

Dean watched Cas out of the corner of his eye as he unfolded and checked the plaid shirts in case they had been pulled last minute from Sams wardrobe.

Castiel gingerly peeled back the wrapping and spied the Journal inside. His mouth quirked into a smile. He opened the clasp and breathed in the scent of the paper. He closed it again and looked to where Dean was nonchalantly folding up the shirts again. Dean looked over at Castiel, out of the corner of his eye. He looked at Castiels expression and his heart skipped a beat. He had a wide eyed smile on his face, their eyes met. Castiel mouthed the word "Thank you." And Dean just nodded.

*************************************************************************************************

They ate lunch, which was mainly uneventful. Sam volunteered to do the dishes, and everyone else sat in the lounge to watch the usual christmas special. Bobby and Jody left shortly after lunch. Dean and Cas sat on the sofa, and Mary and Jess sat in the arm chairs. 

"Can I get a hand in here?" Sam called. Dean stood up, urging Castiel to remain in his seat. Sam nodded in Deans direction and Dean picked up the dish towel to start drying. 

"We'll move the camp bed back up stairs when we're done." Sam said scrubbing the inside of one of the pots.

Dean grunted in reply as he opened the cutlery draw and dropped a bunch of knives and forks into it. Dean didn't want to draw attention to the fact he didn't sleep in the living room on the sofa like they planned. Sam had the we need to talk look on his face. 

When the dishes were done, Dean and Sam picked up the camp bed and dragged it back up to Deans room.

Sam closed the bedroom door with his leg as they moved the bed into it's position beside the bed.

"Where did you sleep last night Dean?" Sam asked. Dean tensed immediately.

"In my room." He replied slowly. Sam nodded. 

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Sam asked. "I mean, I'm only your brother." Dean sighed heavily.

"If there was something I would tell you." Dean said. "But there isn't."

"You know I wouldn't care, you know that right?" Sam replied. Dean smirked.

"Yeah, I know Sam. There's just nothing to tell." Dean replied. 

"Okay." Sam replied. 

Dean smiled and clapped his brother on the shoulder and they walked downstairs again to join Jess, Cas and Mary.


	8. Unwelcome Home

The following day, in the afternoon was when Dean decided to show Cas around the town. The air was chilly, so Cas was wearing a blue collared shirt and a Christmas sweater. Dean was wearing his new leather jacket. Castiel was nervous, but eager to see where Dean grew up. So instead of taking the Impala, they walked into the town centre, taking in the local stores, and they walked passed the old high school. 

The town seemed rather sleepy and pleasant, and Dean insisted that they go for ice cream at the local icecream place. Dean swore by their milkshakes and snowcones. 

When they got in, the place was warmer than outside. Dean ordered a cherry cola snowcone and Cas ordered a strawberry milkshake. 

They sat down in a circular booth in the corner.

"So how do you like the town?" Dean asked. Cas smiled.

"It's nice, one day I should show you my home town." Castiel replied. He sipped his milkshake. Dean took a bite of the snowcone. "The milkshake is very good too." Dean smirked, then his face fell when he saw three men enter the shop. Dean tried not to look at them, instead he focused on his snowcone. 

"What is it?" Castiel asked. Dean shook his head and forced a smile onto his face. Cas sipped his milkshake an nodded. He trusted Dean, and hoped that it wasn't serious.

Suddenly there were three men pushing Cas and Dean to the back of the booth, so that they were side by side. Dean kept his forced smile and surriptitiously placed his free hand on Castiels briefly as a way to reassure him. 

"Alistair, Gordon, and Virgil." Dean said. "It has been a while." Cas looked puzzled, and felt more than a little threatened. Dean squeezed his hand and he relaxed a little.

"Yeah, been more than a few years." Alistair said. "How's college." Dean lifted his hand and placed it on the table.

"It's good. This is my roommate Cas." Dean said. "Cas, this is Alistair, Gordon and Virgil, we all went to school together."

"Pleased to meet you." Castiel said politely, but he could tell that Dean was more nervous than he should be around friends.

"You know we caught up with Lisa this afternoon." Alistair said. 

"Yeah, I saw her a couple of days ago." Dean said politely. 

"She had some interesting things to say about you, and your roommate." Gordon said, using air quotes around the word Roommate. Dean had seen this coming, he had hoped word wouldn't get around until after he was back at college.

The tension around the table thickened. Then a voice rang out from the counter.

"You boys gonna buy something or loiter?" The cashier called. The three jumped and realised they were in a public place, in front of too many witnesses. 

"We'll see you 'round Winchester." Virgil sneered before they left the store. Dean let out a sigh of relief. Castiel looked at Dean with a concerned expression.

"What was that about." Castiel asked. Dean looked at Castiel, his eyes so blue and worried for him. Dean felt his stomach clench uncomfortably. He looked down at his slowly melting snowcone.

"I used to date Lisa, and after our prom, I turned her down for sex." Dean said. "I didn't want her first time to be with someone who was leaving the following week. As it turns out it wouldn't have been her first time."

"Oh." Castiel said.

"Then she made an assumption, and spread a rumour that I was gay. I didn't find out until Sammy mentioned it to me when I came back for thanksgiving first year out." Dean said. "I didn't really care about the rumour, I mean, I don't see these people anymore, and it's not like it's a bad thing, to be gay I mean. But this town and most of the people in it is very conservative, so here, every time I come home, people talk behind their hands and shake their heads at me."

 

"Why don't you just correct them, Dean. I'm your roommate, I know your habits, you're anything but." Castiel said. Dean shrugged and tasted his snowcone again.

"It's not a big deal to me. I don't care about y'know, sexual orientation. I don't live here anymore. Sammy doesn't live here anymore. My mom is well loved in the town. It's just a rumour." Dean replied. Castiel sipped his milkshake thoughtfully, his eyes focused on the table. Then he looked up at Dean, his expresson resolute.

"There is something I have to tell you." Castiel said. "I haven't been entirely honest with you." Dean nodded and looked around. 

"Lets go to the park, it's a little more private." Dean said. Castiel nodded. 

They walked in silence, Dean still eating his snowcone and Castiel sipping quietly on his milkshake.

They found a secluded bench and they both sat down. Castiel looked at his feet for a moment.

"Cas, what did you want to tell me?" Dean asked. Castiel took a deep breath.

"I lied about why I am not at my parents this year." Castiel said. Dean fell silent, and heard the tone of bitterness in Castiels voice. "See my mother called the night before I was supposed to leave, you were out with Charlie when she called. She wanted to know when I would be coming, and if I would be bringing anyone with me, because my older siblings, most are now married or are in long term committed relationships. I explained that I am single, and she began the lecture." Castiel took a deep breath. 

Dean could see he was on the verge of tears, he remained silent and gave Castiel the time to compose himself. 

"She began the lecture on me finding the right girl and settling down, I mean I'm not even 25, and she's planning out my life. I explained, I hadn't met anyone and she claimed I was not putting myself out there enough. I started to get angry, and she started planning on setting me up with someone when I came home for christmas. I got angrier, and I told her the truth. I told her that I was Gay, and she got very quiet. Then she told me to be serious, and I told her I was serious. She got angry and hung up the phone."

Dean placed a hand on Castiels shoulder, encouraging him to continue, Castiel looked up at Dean.

"I tried calling back, but there was no answer, I left messages. Then my father called me back, and without letting me get a word in edgewise, he said in no uncertain terms, that my mother was in hysterics, and that I was no longer welcome in their house until I cured myself of this ailment. They no longer answer my calls. I have officially been disowned by my parents." 

"That's awful Cas." Dean said, his hand still on Castiels shoulder.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Castiel asked, bitterness dripping from his tongue.

"Hey, You've still got me, I know it's not much, but I mean you're an honorary Winchester, and I'll help you whenever you need it. You're not alone Cas." Castiel looked at Dean his eyes so big and blue, and he smiled so wide, his entire face lit up. Dean felt his heart jump and his stomach flip. He grinned back.

Dean was about to pull him into a hug when suddenly there was strawberry milkshake all over them. Before Dean could ask what had happened, Cas gasped as a rock hit his head with a thunk. Blood started to pour from the gash and Dean turned and saw the three from the diner. A stone flew again and hit Dean in the arm.

"Faggots!" He heard Gordon call. Dean flinched, and he felt anger bubble from the pit of his stomach. He looked at Cas who was bleeding profusely from his head. He grabbed his friends arm and they dropped their desserts and started to run. The jeers and the stones followed them as they ran. 

"Hey Winchester, do you take it up the ass?!" A voice rang out. Dean held tighter to Castiels arm. In the haste Cas slipped on a patch ice and landed hard on his knees. Dean almost lost his balance when Cas hit the ground, but managed to stay upright.

Dean helped him to his feet and they ducked down a side street, and made their way back home as fast as they could. The voices echoing in their heads.

*************************************************************************************************

When they got back Sam was looking disheveled and worried sick. He was standing by the Impala, with his hands on his head. Dean wondered why, and then he saw the car. Someone, but he had a pretty good idea who, had spray painted the word faggot across the side in pink paint.

"Your car Dean." Cas said weakly.

"It's fine, I can clean it off." Dean said. 

"Jesus, Dean what the hell happened to Cas?" Sam asked. His voice had gone up an octave, and Dean knew that was a sign of real concern. Dean felt a rush of gratefulness that Sam was his brother.

"It's just a scratch." Cas said. "Probably looks worse than it feels." He forced a smile onto his now pallid face. The blood had seeped into his shirt and dripped onto his sweater.

"I'll get the first aid kit, and we'll clean you up." Dean said. 

They went inside and Sam grabbed a face cloth from the linen closet and Dean helped Cas into the kitchen. He reached to get the first aid kit, and Sam came rushing in with the cloth. Dean clapped his brother on the shoulder Sam gave Dean a tight lipped smile and went back out to the living room.

Cas was sitting on the table, his feet dangling off the edge. Dean dampened the cloth and wiped gently at the gash on the side Castiels forehead. Castiel closed his eyes. 

"I don't understand." Castiel said at length. 

"Neither do I Cas. But this isn't as bad as I thought. Now do you want Barbie or Hello Kitty?" He sid holding up two pink bandaid boxes.

Castiel chuckled and looked up at Dean thoughtfully.

"It's a tough decision." Cas said. "I think Hello Kitty." Dean grinned and stuck a hello kitty bandaid over the cut. There was a small comfortable silence where they just stared at each other.

"You okay?" Dean asked.

"Better." Castiel said. "Head still hurts a bit though." He added. Dean looked at him solemnly.

"You want me to kiss it better?" Dean asked trying not to smirk.

"If you think that will help." Cas Replied. Dean, with a straight face leaned in and pressed his lips gently on Castiels forehead. 

"Better now?" Dean asked when he pulled away. Castiel smiled and nodded. 

"Much. Now I'm going to have a shower, and clean the rest of this blood off." Castiel replied, "And the milkshake." Dean nodded. Castiel jumped off the table and wandered upstairs. As he left, Sam joined Dean in the kitchen.

"So what happened Dean?" Sam asked. 

"It's a long story Sammy. We're okay, but I think me and Cas will head home tomorrow." Dean said.

"Dean." Sam started.

"I know, it's fucked up, they fucked up my Car, and threw stones."

"Who?" Sam asked.

"Gordon, and his cronies." Dean said.

"Jesus christ Dean." Sam said, his hands ran through his long hair.

"This town is fucked up." Dean replied. "Me and Cas will head home tomorrow. I can't stay here." 

"Dean, you can't let them get away with this." Sam said.   
"Well, we're gonna have to." Dean said. "I don't see what beating a hornets nest is going to do to help." 

"Dean, they desecrated your car." Sam said.

"It'll wash off."

"Dean, How can you be so calm about this?"

"Because if I'm not I will break something." Dean said quietly. "Because if I am not calm about it, I will take my car, find them, and hurt them."

"Dean..." Sam started.

"Sammy, it's been a long day. I am going to bed." Dean said. 

"Okay." Sam said. "We can talk in the morning."

"Okay Sammy." Dean replied, "Goodnight."


	9. The Conversations

Castiel walked out of the shower, and into Deans room. He pulled on his pjs and sat on the end of Deans bed. He touched his forehead gently where Dean had kissed him. His heart fluttered and he felt a warmth spring to his fingertips. 

He wondered if Dean really felt the same way. He was pondering the thought when his phone started to ring. As he picked up his phone and stared at the caller, he heard the shower start.

"Hello." He answered.

"Castiel." It was his mother. His heart rate picked up. 

"Mother." He replied, maintaining his composure.

"I have spoken with your father, and we have both agreed that you will need to move out of the house within the next week. The property will be sold. Do not bother with telling us where you will be moving to, as we want nothing more to do with you or your lifestyle."

Castiels heart clenched, his happiness was already hanging on by a thread it snapped.

"You may as well lose my number also." Castiel said. "If that was all you had to say...." He left the sentence hanging. 

"No, that is not all. Your siblings have been informed of your disorder, and they will be servering ties with you as well. This should teach you that your choices that go against god have consequences. You will be punished, not by me, but by gods divine wrath."

"Yeah, I know." Castiel replied.

"Don't be flippant Castiel. You'll be praying to jesus for forgiveness when you're homeless on the street." She snapped. 

"Mom," Castiel said quietly. "I know this isn't how you imagined things would turn out."

"Castiel, don't play the victim. You have torn this family apart with your lifestyle choices." She shouted. 

"My lifestyle isn't a choice, it's who I am." Castiel snapped. "And you know what, my life will be better without you in it."

"You are ungrateful and you have disgraced your family and god with your behaviour and I hope I never have to see you again. You disgust me." She hissed. She hung up the phone and Castiel was trembling with rage, he swung his arm ready to heave his phone at the wall, when Dean grabbed his arm and spun him around.

Dean gently took the phone from his hand and threw it on the bed. Castiel looked up at him, his hand still holding his arm. Then without a word Dean pulled him into a tight hug. Castiel felt his anger ebb away, and he wrapped his arms around Dean and closed his eyes, breathing deep. Dean rubbed Castiels back.

"You okay Cas?" Dean asked. Castiel didn't want to let go, he burried his head into Deans shoulder.

"I have bad news for you." Castiel said. "We have to move out by the end of the week."

"Oh." Dean replied.

"I know." Castiel said. "I'm going to miss living with you."

"Yeah? I'd miss living with you too." He said. After a moment Dean pulled away. Castiel reluctantly let go.

"Cas, there's something you should know." Dean said. Castiel folded his arms across his chest. "Three days ago, I was offered a cheaper room, in house closer to the university. Charlie and Garth live there, with Meg, but Meg is moving out, she graduated, and now they have a spare room. They have a swimming pool and everything."

"Did you take the offer?" Castiel asked, feeling his stomach drop and his blood run cold.

"No, I told them it was too much hassel to move, when I graduate so soon and there was no real point, cause we're close to work and school." Dean replied. He looked at his shoes. "I realise now, that I just couldn't imagine not waking up to your annoying humming in the early morning, or seeing you wander around in your stupid stripy pajamas." Castiel felt the colour rise to his cheeks, and Dean was avoiding eye contact. 

"What are you saying?" Castiel asked. Dean looked up.

"Since we have to move in a week, we could take Garth and Charlies spare room." He said. 

"How will we fit two beds in one room?" Castiel asked dumbly, and a goofy grin spread across Deans face that made Castiels heart beat faster. 

"I mean, together, you dork." Dean said with a grin. 

"But you're straight, you like women." Castiel said.

"I do like women, I like women alot. But I also really like this one dork who wears cardigans and striped pajamas, and I would give up girls forever for this pajama wearing dork." Dean said. "If the pajama wearing dork would have me."

"Oh." Was all he could manage. Then Castiel smiled his sunshine bright smile and his eyes shone. "You think my pajamas are dorky?"

"Yeah, but in an adorable dorky way. So?" Dean asked. Cas grinned at him, his whole face lighting up and Dean grinned back.

"Yes." Castiel replied. Dean smiled so wide his face hurt. Then he leaned in and kissed Castiel. It was slow and chaste. Both of them wondered why they hadn't done this before. When Dean pulled away, his cheeks flushed. Cas smiled gently.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

"It's just me, I brought you some hot chocolate." Sam said. Dean rolled his eyes, but he let go of Cas and opened the door. 

Dean took the mugs and handed them to Cas.

"I'll be back in a minute." He said to Cas before ushering his brother out of the door.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked curiously. Dean closed his bedroom door and heaved a happy sigh.

"I promised I'd tell you if there was something." Dean replied grinning stupidly.

*************************************************************************************************

When Dean returned, Castiel was sitting on Deans bed with a hot chocolate in his hands. He was grinning into the cup.

"Hey." Dean said. 

"Hello Dean." Castiel replied.

Dean picked up his phone and dialled Charlie.

"Dean it's like 11pm." Charlie said. "Why are you calling?"

"Is that room still available?" Dean asked.

"Oh my god, did you and Cas have a fight?" She asked.

"What? No. Is the room available?" He asked.

"Yeah, Me and Garth are still looking. Meg moved out last week." She said.

"We want to take it. We've been evicted, so we need a room." Dean said.

"We?" Charlie asked.

"Me and Cas. We want to take the room."

"You can't fit both your beds in there." Charlie said. 

"No shit sherlock." Dean said.

"Does this mean..." Charlie trailed off. 

"Yeah, so can we take it?" Dean asked.

"Finally. Oh my god." Charlie said, then he heard her call out to Garth, "Dean and Cas are finally doing the do!" She had shouted so loud that Cas heard and choked on his hot chocolate. 

"Charlie, Charlie! Focus! Can we have the room?"

"Oh of course, we'll even help you move." She said.

"It won't be much to move, the furniture is all to stay, except my bed." Dean said. "We're in Kansas, but we're heading back tomorrow."

"I still have your spare key, so me and Garth will start your move tomorrow, when you're on your way back."

"You don't have to worry, we'll get ever...." Dean started but Charlie cut him off.

"Call it a Celebration gift, celebrating you two finally hooking up." Charlie said. Dean rolled his eyes, and Castiel chuckled. 

"Fine, okay, if you're that desperate to help." Dean said.

"Oh we are. When you get here everything will be in place." Charlie said, "We'll see you tomorrow."

"Awesome." Dean replied. "Catch you later." He hung up his phone and turned to Castiel who was sipping his hot chocolate. Dean looked at Castiel, and sighed. Castiel looked up at Dean.

"Hello Dean." He said smiling. 

"Hey Cas." Dean smiled back and picked up his own hot chocolate and took a sip.

"Dean..." Castiel started.

"Hmmm." Dean said sitting down. 

"Thank you." Castiel said. Dean huffed a laugh.

"What for?"

"For making this so much easier."

"Well, anything to keep you around." Dean replied. Castiel chuckled.

"The hot chocolate is enough so far." Castiel replied.

"Duly noted."

*************************************************************************************************

When they finished their drinks, Dean pulled the blankets back on his bed, and Castiel climbed in.

Dean turned off the light and climbed in beside Castiel.

The moment his head hit the pillow, Castiel wrapped his arms around him. Dean smiled as Castiel rested his head on Deans chest. Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel and kissed the top of his head.

"Night Cas." Dean whispered.

"Night Dean." Castiel replied.


	10. Going Home

So you and Castiel are dating now?" Mary asked. Dean nodded, looking nervous.

"And that's why Deans car was vandalised." Sam said. "People are not very forgiving in this town."

"And that's why you're leaving early?" Mary asked. Dean nodded. She pulled him into a hug and ruffled his hair. Dean wrapped his arms around his mother. "You drive safe, sweetpea." She let go and turned to Castiel who was staring at the floor. She pulled him into a hug also and ruffled his hair as well.

"Both of you be safe." She replied. Castiel wanted to cry, instead he hugged Mary back. Dean took their bags to the Impala. Castiel followed him and climbed into the front seat.

"You okay Cas?" Dean asked when he started the car.

"I will be." Castiel said. Dean nodded and gave Castiels hand a squeeze. Castiel smiled weakly.

*************************************************************************************************

Dean yawned as they pulled into their old driveway. Charlie was sitting on their stoop with Garth.

When the car came to a halt Charlie leaped up and when Castiel climbed out of the car she wrapped him in a tight hug. Dean climbed out as well.

"Everything has been moved." Garth replied, he handed Cas the Key. Dean hugged Charlie and thanked her.

"So," She said at length. "How did you guys finally realise you're in love?"

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiels shoulders.

"We'll tell you over some beers at our new home." Dean said grinning. 

Garth laughed and Charlie looked somewhat disappointed.

Suddenly a severe looking car pulled up. Silver and eerily spotless, the horn sounded once as it pulled up beside the impala onto the only other space. Castiel turned and his heart sank to his knees. He instinctively took Deans hand in his own. Dean squeezed it back.

Three people got out, one was a bearded man, who had the same blue eyes as Castiel and a shorter man, with whiskey coloured eyes and slicked back golden hair, the third was tall with dark hair and piercing blue eyes.

"Cassie, I thought you were in Lawrence." The golden haired man said.

"We just got back." Castiel said. "Dean, this is my Father, and my brothers Gabriel, and Michael. Father, Gabriel, this is my Boyfriend Dean Winchester, and his friends Charlie Bradbury and Garth Fitzgerald the fourth. They've just helped us move out." 

"Castiel..." Gabriel started.

"You have all made your positions clear." Castiel said sharply. He took the spare key from Charlie, and handed his and Deans keys over to his father. "Unless it's an apology, I don't think any further communication will be required." His father looked at Dean as if he was the spawn of satan. Michael looked him up and down and sneered. Gabriel just looked hurt.

Garth and Charlie made their way to their car. Castiels father walked into the house to do his check. Gabriel lingered outside for a moment.

"Cassie." Gabriel said. "I just want you to know, I don't care."

"Gabriel." Castiel said coldly. Gabriel flinched at the tone. "You still won't stand up for me though. You won't utter a word against them. You'd rather vanish off to where ever you go in the summer." 

Dean placed his hand on Castiels shoulder, and the tension seemed to fall out of him. Castiel heaved a deep sigh.

"We're going to go home now." Castiel said. Gabriel turned to the open door.

"See you 'round Cassie. It was a pleasure to meet you Dean." Gabriel said. Dean nodded silently and got into the Impala.

"Goodbye Gabriel." Castiel said before getting into the car. Dean started the engine and pulled out of the driveway. 

*************************************************************************************************

"I'm okay Dean." Castiel said as he heaved a sigh and leaned against the seat. Dean smiled. 

"You're just too cute." Dean said grinning. Castiel raised an eyebrow and his cheeks turned pink. 

"Thank you Dean." Castiel replied and Dean had to pull over. Castiel looked over at him in surprise. "What are you..." but he couldn't finish because Dean had leaped over and started kissing him. Castiel returned the kiss enthusiastically. 

When they parted, Deans hair was mussed and Castiel was breathless. His cheeks flushed and looking absolutely debauched. 

"We... we better head home." Castiel said. Dean nodded, unable to speak. Castiel smiled. Dean tore his eyes away from him, and pulled the car back on the road.


	11. New Home

They sat around the dining table in their new home, with Garth and Charlie and a bunch of beers.

"So, when did you realise you were crazy about each other?" Charlie asked. Castiels cheeks turned pink and he looked at the beer in his hands.

"I realised when we were decorating the tree for christmas." Castiel said glancing at Dean who looked confused. 

"How?" Charlie asked completely bemused.

"It's silly really, he accidentally touched my hand when handing over a box of ornaments and he blushed. I don't think I'd ever seen him blush before." Castiel said a little sheepishly. "And I fell."

"Awwwww" Charlie beamed. "Look he's blushing now." Castiel smiled at Dean whose cheeks were decidedly red.

"What about you dean?" Garth asked.

"It was in the park, he'd told me about what had happened with his parents, and I told him I'd y'know stick by him, and he gave me the biggest smile I'd ever seen, and his whole face just lit up. And I thought, I'd like to make that smile happen more often." Dean said. Castiel was trying not to smile, but failing miserably.

"Oh god you're both so cute it's borderline disgusting." Charlie said grinning. Dean looked over at Castiel, smiling warmly. Cas looked sheepishly at Dean who wrapped an around Castiels shoulder, and leaned over and kissed him quickly on the lips. Castiel leaned his head on Deans shoulder and linked their hands.

Garth chuckled. "I take it back." Charlie said. "Actually disgusting." 

"I know." Dean said kissing the top of Castiels head. "But isn't he adorable?"

"I am a cutie." Castiel said in his deep gravelly voice. They all burst out laughing. Dean gripped Castiels hand and he stood up. 

"Well it's been a long day" Dean said before finishing his beer. "And me and this cutie need some beauty rest."

*************************************************************************************************

A few months later, Castiel was sitting on their bed reading a research paper, his reading glasses propped on the end of his nose. A freshly showered Dean stepped out of the bathroom in just a pair of boxers, and towel drying his hair. He threw the towel into the basket and crawled into bed. He lay down, and stared at Castiel, whose eyes had not moved from the text.

He studied Castiels bed head, and his new stripy green pajamas. His fingers that turned the pages. Deans heart melted. Castiel caught him staring, and stared back for a moment before turning back to his pages.  
"I really love you." Dean said with a dopey grin. Castiel sighed, and without looking at Dean he replied.

"That's a relief, it would be really tragic if this relationship was one sided." His tone was flat and he turned another page. A smile played in the corner of his mouth. Dean picked up his pillow and whacked Castiels head, knocking his paper and his glasses askew.

"You dork." Dean said laughing. Castiel snatched the pillow from Deans hands and rolled over turning off the lamp in one movement, plunging them into darkness.

"Thanks for the second pillow, I like sleeping with two pillows. You are so generous Dean." Dean snorted loudly and pulled the blankets up over his chest. He snuggled in behind Cas and rested his head on what space he could find on Castiels pillows and threw an arm around him. Castiel was shaking with silent laughter. Then he paused.

"I love you too Dean." He said quietly.

"Aha! I Knew it!" Dean exclaimed and yanked his pillow out from under Castiels head. "I win!" Castiel burst out laughing. "You can't resist me, Dean Winchester, CHAMPION!" Suddenly there is a knock on the wall.

"Keep the noise down!" Charlie yelled. 

"Sorry Charlie." Dean called out.

"I'm sorry too." Castiel called. Castiel rolled over to face Dean. They're eyes met in the darkness and Castiel slid a hand over Deans cheek. 

"I love you." Castiel said. Dean beamed. 

"I know." Dean replied.


	12. Family

Four years later Castiel is sitting behind his desk in his shiny office. He had earned his PHD and was going over some of his students assignments. He was deciding the grade of one of his more entertaining students when there was a knock at the door.

"Professor Novak, there's someone from the Department of Health here to see you." His secretary Becky spoke through the intercom. Castiels brow creased.

"Send them in." Castiel replied. 

The door opened and a familiar figure walked in.  
"Cassie." Michael said. "Congratulations on your position here." 

"Michael. It's been a long time, I wish I could say it's good to see you." Castiel said stepping out from behind his desk. Castiel extended his hand. Michael shook it.

"So how have you been?"

"I'm sorry is this a social call?" Castiel asked. "I was under the impression I was no longer part of the family." 

"Can I not make polite conversation?" Michael asked. Castiel frowned.

"I suppose." Castiel said. There was a long awkward pause.

"Look, I just thought you might want to know, Mother passed away two days ago." Michael replied. Castiel gripped the table. "I know your relationship with her was tenuous..."

"Tenuous," Castiel scoffed. 

"I assure you, this visit brings me no pleasure, but I felt as though you should at least know." Michael said. Castiel tensed and was about to speak his mind when Michael looked at his watch, and glanced at the door.

"Thank you." Castiel replied. Michaels nose wrinkled, then he turned back to Castiel.

"So are you still dating that Kansas Boy?" Michael asked looking around the office. "Dirk, Damon, you remember, the Winchester boy." Castiel scoffed.

"As a matter of fact, I am no longer dating, Dean Winchester." Castiel replied walking behind his desk and sitting down.

"Oh, that's good, he had an ill look about him, too pretty, and a little too rough around the edges." Michael said. "You are welcome to come to the funeral, Castiel." Castiel ignored the invite.

"I'm not dating, Dean Winchester, because we married 2 years ago." Castiel said turning around one of the photos on his desk. It revealed Dean and Cas gazing into each others eyes, with cake mashed into their faces and the stupidest smiles on their faces. "I would have invited you to the wedding, but you all made yourselves quite clear." Castiel said shuffling the papers on his desk. Michaels eyebrows shot up. There was another awkward silence.

"You are welcome to come to the funeral Castiel." Michael repeated as he averted his gaze from the picture frame. "Despite your lifestyle choice, we at least have the decency to contact you for an important event." Castiel was about to stand and have a shouting match when the intercom buzzed into life. 

"Professor, your husband is here to see you." Becky called. Castiel couldn't stop the smile. Sometimes he wondered if he and Dean were psychically linked.

"Actually, I believe it's my lunch break, so I would ask you to leave the Funeral details with Becky at the desk." He adressed Becky. "Send him in." The door opened and Dean walked in, wearing a tidy grey suit, looking less rough around the edges than Michael. Castiel gave Dean a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Hello Dean." Castiel said smiling. "You remember Michael."

Deans eyebrows shot up. "Hey Cas, yes, I remember." He replied stiffly. He held out his hand for Michael to shake. Michael looked at it and kept his hand by his side.

"Good Day." Michael said before walking out.

"So you ready for lunch?" Dean asked. "I got us a reservation at this place down the road." Castiel wrapped Dean in a tight hug. "What's up?" Dean wrapped his arms around him.

"My mother passed away." Castiel said. 

"Oh." Dean said. "You okay?" 

"I don't know." Castiel mumbled into Deans neck. "But thank you."

"For what?"

"Wearing your suit." Castiel said. 

"Well it was the suit or that sexy maid outfit." Dean replied. Castiel huffed a laugh. 

"I think the sexy maid outfit would have gotten less of a reaction." Castiel replied. 

"From that Statue? That was a reaction?" Dean asked. Castiel let go of Dean, beaming.

"You have no idea." Castiel grinned. Deans stomach started rumbling. Castiel playfully poked his husbands stomach. Dean kissed Castiels cheek and took his hand. 

"C'mon or they won't hold our reservation."

*************************************************************************************************

Castiel poked his food around his plate. He stared at Dean as he was stuffing his cheeks. Dean furrowed his brow.

"You seem distracted." Dean said with stuffed cheeks. 

"You are just really pretty." Castiel sighed. Deans cheeks turned red and he shuffled in his seat, trying not to grin.

"Shut your mouth." Dean mumbled without looking at Castiel. Castiel smiled. 

"I mean it Dean," Castiel said. "Your face is the kind of face that launches a thousand ships." Dean looked at his plate, cheeks burning red. Dean looked up and his eyes met with Castiels baby blues, and the love struck expression on Castiels face, made his heart beat erratically. Cas reached over the table and touched his cheek. Dean leaned into the touch, his eyes closed, and his cheeks burning. 

"You are so perfect." Dean replied. "But I know you, you're about to ask me something important, and since we're already married, I'm a little nervous." Castiel beamed and lowered his hand.

"I want to go to the funeral." Castiel said. Dean looked at Castiel, his eyes wide.

"Are you sure?" Dean asked seriously. Castiel shrugged.

"She gave me life. I have to pay my respects."

"Okay. I'll go with you." Dean said. 

"Dean, you don't have to." Castiel replied.

"You are my Husband, and awkward family gatherings are part of the deal." Dean replied with a cocky smile. Castiel smiled sheepishly. "Besides, we can freak out your relatives by having sex in the back seat of my car outside the funeral home." Dean waggled his eyebrows. Castiel snorted with laughter. 

"We're not doing that." Castiel replied. 

"You say that now." Dean said waving his fork in Castiels direction. Castiel shook his head.

"We're not having sex outside a funeral home." Castiel said before taking a bite of his sandwich.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is where this section ends, if you would like more just let me know.


	13. Hotel Room

They had booked a hotel room, and checked in the day before the funeral. 

"This is nice." Castiel said when he walked in. Dean dropped their bags and looked around. 

"Bed test." Dean said before taking a flying leap onto the bed, landing face down. He was silent for a few moments before he mumbled. "Bed tested." Castiel rolled his eyes.

"You're going to get us kicked out." He replied sitting down at the end of the bed. Dean rolled over. 

"You okay Cas?" Dean asked. 

"Just nervous." Castiel said. "I haven't seen them in 4 years."

"I know." Dean sat up and wrapped his arms around Castiels shoulders. "I'm here for you,"

"Lets get some sleep. I don't want to go anywhere other than the funeral."

"You want me to get us take out?" Dean asked. Castiel laced his fingers with Deans.

"Later." Castiel said.

"Okay." Dean kissed Castiels neck. "We'll just chill here." Castiel lay down on the bed. Dean lay down beside him.

"Thank you Dean."

"For what?"

"For being here."

"We are joined at the hip." Dean said. 

"I'm being serious."

"So am I, Cas. I made a choice, a vow, if you will, to stand by my man." Dean replied, the phrase was loaded with intent. Castiel huffed a laugh.

"Please don't start singing... again." Castiel said covering his face with his hands. Dean kissed Castiels hands which were still on his face.

"I won't. But I mean what I say." Castiel lowered his hands.

"I know," He said. "Now shhh, I want sleep." Dean nodded and wrapped his arms around his husband. Dean sighed heavily as Castiel closed his eyes. Dean stroked Castiels cheek.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dean woke up sharply. The sun was setting, and Castiel was curled up in his side snoring softly. His stomach rumbled. Slowly he extricated himself from the sleeping man. Castiel snuffled and his nose scrunched up, his hands tried to reach for a Dean who was no longer there.

"Jesus you're cute." Dean mumbled. Castiel opened his eyes. 

"Hmm?"

"I said you're cute." Dean said. Castiel rolled his eyes and stretched. "You want anything to eat?"

"Cheese Burger." Castiel replied. "Onion Rings." He closed his eyes again.

"No onion rings." Dean said. Castiels eyes shot open. 

"Why not?"

"I have to kiss those onion rings." Dean replied. 

"You can talk, Mr. Refried Beans." Castiel replied. Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"No. Onion Rings." Castiel switched tactics. He made his eyes big and gave him the full force of the puppy dog look. Dean heaved a sigh. "Jesus. I can't win, can I?"

"Don't blaspheme Dean." Castiel replied turning on the television.

"Fine, Onion Rings and Cheese Burger." Dean said.

"Thank you Dean." Castiel called smugly as Dean walked out of their room.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dean walked down the road to the nearest diner. The air was cool and crisp. 

He walked into what appeared to be a 50s themed Diner. There was a handful of people in the booths and two women sitting at the counter. Dean walked up. A teenaged boy in a paper hat looked him up and down before speaking.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah, can I get two cheese burgers, and a side of fries and a side of onion rings, and two large cokes." Dean asked. The girl closest to him turned around. Dean gave her a placid smile. She looked a little familiar. She had dark hair and bright blue eyes.

"Hey there." She said. "I haven't seen you here before." 

"I'm not from around here." Dean replied.

"Thinking of hanging around?" She asked.

"Probably not. It's a nice place though." He replied. 

"It is dullsville, really. I grew up here."

"It is a little boring." 

"You looking to break the boredom a little?" She asked with a bite of her lip. She looked at him through her eyelashes. Dean gave an awkward tight lipped smile.

"I'm married." Dean replied pointing to the ring on his finger.

"Well, what your wife doesn't know won't hurt her." The girl said. Dean frowned.

"I think my husband deserves my fidelity more than you want your one night stand." Dean replied curtly, emphasizing the word Husband. The woman narrowed her eyes in disgust. Then they widened in realisation and her hand shot up to her mouth.

"Oh my god." She said. "You're Dean Winchester." Dean was confused then he realised why she looked familiar. "You're Castiels dirty little secret."

"I'm his Husband yes." Dean said. "You must be one of his sisters."

"I'm Hael." She said. "I can't believe that abomination managed to find himself something this hot." Dean felt his stomach twist.

"Abomination?"

"You do know all Homosexuals are going to hell right?" She asked. "It's true. Castiel is just another Abomination that's going to burn with the rest of the sinners. You'll burn with him."

"I don't believe that." Dean said. 

"That's because you're so far from gods light, you can't even see the truth." She said. "All homosexuals burn in hell with murderers and child molesters. Our father would tell you the same thing. Oh my god, you're actually here for the funeral aren't you." Dean was becoming angrier and angrier the more she spoke. "That is so pathetic, does Castiel actually think we'll take him back into the family now that mother is gone?"

The boy in the paper hat placed the bags of food on the bench in front of Dean.

"I'll make sure everyone knows you're coming tomorrow. We'll bring stones and pitchforks, and father will ensure you have the wrath of god beaten into you." Dean snatched the bags and drinks.

"Thanks" he muttered to the boy before walking to the door.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Dean got back to the Motel room, Castiel was fast asleep again. He was sitting upright with his hands on his belly, his legs crossed. He put their dinner down and began packing up their things again. He wasn't having it. He didn't want to put Cas through that funeral, he didn't want him to hear the horrible things they had been saying about him.

He leaned over Castiel and shook him gently.

"Hey, come on, we gotta go." Dean said. Castiel stirred, but didn't wake. "Wake up sweetie, we gotta move." Castiels eyes shot open, his blood ran cold.

"Dean what's wrong?" Castiel asked.

"Nothing, we just have to go, okay." Dean heaved Castiels bag onto his bed.

"Dean you don't ever use terms of endearment. Not unless something is really bad. You just called me Sweetie." Castiel took Deans hand and laced their fingers. "What happened."

"I met your sister Hael." Dean replied. Castiel met Deans nervous gaze.

"And?"

"And we... I just don't want you going tomorrow." Dean said. 

"Dean." Castiel said. 

"When she found out who I was," Dean Started

"The insults started." Castiel finished.

"Yeah." Dean said rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "I just, don't want a repeat of that christmas."

"That christmas wasn't so bad, we started dating that christmas." Castiel said. Dean stopped packing. Castiel climbed off the bed and wrapped his arms around Deans middle.

"If we don't go, then they'll win. Hael would have already told every member of the family in town that she has met Castiels husband and scared him out of town." Dean heaved a sigh.

"I am scared." Dean said quietly. Castiel pressed his cheek against Deans back and heaved a deep sigh of admiration. 

"There's little that they can do." Castiel said softly. "And I'll protect you." He added as an after thought. Dean huffed a laugh.

"Yeah? And how are you going to do that?" Dean asked.

"I have special powers." Castiel replied. 

"What kind of powers? Should I be scared?" Dean asked.

"You should be very scared." Castiel whispered and in a flash he had dug his fingers into Deans ribs stomach and began to tickle him. Deans breath escaped his body and he struggled and failed to get out of Castiels grip. His laughter was punctuated with breathless cries for Castiel to stop and he managed to twist around and shoved Castiel onto the bed. 

"You're gonna get it now." Dean said cracking his knuckles and waggling his eyebrows. 

"Bring it!" Castiel laughed. Dean took off his shirt and Castiel pulled off his trousers and Dean joined him on the bed.

Castiel undid Deans belt as he crouched over him, their lips locked in an awkward grinning kiss. 

When Deans jeans were on the floor with the rest of their clothes. Castiel rolled over and reached for a bottle of lube from the bedside table. Dean pressed kisses into Castiels neck. "You want this?" Dean whispered. Castiel moaned softly as Deans hand slid under his waistband. The lube fell from Castiels hand.

Castiel cupped Deans ass, and pulled down his boxers. Castiel kissed Dean roughly, leaving them both hard and breathless. Dean snatched up the tube, and popped the cap.

Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. 

"Sonovabitch." Dean hissed. He was about to get up when Castiel touched his shoulder and shook his head. 

The knocking sounded again, this time louder. 

"Castiel! I know you're in there!" Came a voice from the door. The knocking grew louder. "Open the door." Dean looked down at Castiel with a worried expression and removed his fingers. Castiel chuckled. 

"This is awkward. I was hoping to have you calling my name tonight." Castiel whispered. Dean snorted with laughter and pulled up his boxers.

"Should I open the door like this?" Dean whispered, his boxers tented obscenely. Castiel chuckled and shook his head. "Alright, alright." Dean said with mock exasperation. Dean pulled on his jeans and adjusted himself to be more presentable. The knocking continued.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!" Dean called out. Castiel suppressed another laugh. 

Dean opened the door to reveal Castiels golden haired and golden eyed brother. 

"Castiel?" Gabriel called averting his eyes from the half-naked Dean. He tried to push his way into the hotel room, but Dean stopped him.

"Gabriel right?" Dean asked. The shorter man nodded. Dean nodded back. "He's in no fit state to entertain." Dean said. "He can hear you though."

"The family is in an uproar." Gabriel said, glancing at Dean. "They are livid that you had the nerve to come." The comment was met with silence. 

"Cas?" Dean called. 

"I'm not part of the family anymore, so I am not sure why they care." Castiel said at length. "I'm not sure why you came to tell me this."

"No-one is sure why you came." Gabriel asked. "I’m here to warn you."

"I am here to pay my respects to the woman who gave birth to me." Castiel said simply. "She may have disowned me, my whole family may have disowned me, but I remember where I came from." His voice grew stronger. "They can talk all they want. I would feel better if they didn't talk to me." Dean felt a rush of pride for his husband. "You can save your warnings."

"Castiel," Gabriel said. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are." Castiel replied. "Now, if you please, I would like to continue having sex with my husband." Gabriel snorted with laughter. Dean felt his cheeks turn red. 

"Okay, Cassie, I'll see you tomorrow. Have good Sex." Gabriel said before walking back down the corridor.

Dean closed the door and locked it. When he saw Cas dressed in his pajamas, eating the food, he had to admit he was a little disappointed.

Dean pulled off his jeans and pulled on a ratty t-shirt and sat beside his husband on the bed. He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Castiels temple, and took his own dinner from the paper bag.

"You okay?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded, his cheeks puffed with food. "I'm so proud of you." Dean said before taking a bite of his burger. Castiel smiled softly.

"What would I do without you Dean?" Castiel asked. 

"I'm pretty sure I would have ended up in a gutter somewhere." Dean said rubbing Castiels back with a free hand. Castiel nodded and swallowed. 

"Yeah, and even if we both end up homeless in the gutter, we'll be homeless in the gutter together." 

"Damned straight." Dean said.


	14. Funeral

"So you're saying we can't hold hands?" Dean asked. Castiel nodded as he stood before the mirror. 

"No public displays of affection." Castiel said. "I don't want to take any unnecessary risks." Dean stepped up behind him and wrapped his arm around his middle and pressed kisses into his neck. Castiel closed his eyes for a moment. 

"Okay, Cas." Dean said holding him close and swaying. Castiel tried not to smile and continued to tie his tie. Dean continued to kiss Castiels neck. 

"What are you doing Dean?" Castiel asked and Dean began to hum and sway.

"I am getting in as much affection as I can before I have to pretend I have some restraint." Dean said. Castiel enjoyed the embrace for a moment.

"Are you ready?" Castiel asked. 

"I am." Dean said. 

"Let me see?" Castiel said. Dean relinquished his grip and Castiel turned around. Dean was standing in a black suit, with a navy blue tie and an awkward smile. 

"So?"

"You clean up nicely." Castiel said.

"You look like an Angel." Dean said. "Except your tie is backwards." Castiel sighed heavily. Dean reached up and straightened Castiels tie.

"I think we should go." Castiel said. Dean nodded.

"You want to make out before hand?" Dean asked.

"You are incorrigible." Castiel said. 

"That wasn't a no." Dean replied. Castiel smiled and took Deans hands in his own.

"Maybe later. We don't want to be late." Castiel said. Dean pulled him into a hug.

"If you want to leave, just say and we'll go. I won't leave your side okay." Dean said. Castiel nodded and relaxed a little.

"Come on Dean." Castiel said. 

"Alright Cas." Dean said pressing a kiss to his forehead. Castiel smiled.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was like walking through a den of starving wolves. Dean kept his back straight and his eyes forward. Cas walked beside him, and Dean could feel him shaking in his boots. They took seats to the far left of the church. Dean ensured he squashed himself as close as he could to Castiel without making it look too affectionate. Castiel looked at him and smiled. Dean smiled back and nudged him. Castiel looked around at all the familiar faces who he hadn't seen in years. It felt as though their eyes moved over him without seeing him. He felt very cold, even with Dean squashed up beside him. 

Then he saw them. His father and two oldest brothers walking through the church to the front. He automatically tensed up and pretended he was invisible. Dean lowered his gaze and Castiel followed suit. Suddenly he felt eyes on him, he risked a look up and Michael was staring right at him. 

He shuddered and suddenly felt the urge to stand up and run. But he stayed still and stared back at Michael, expressionless and defiant. Michael nudged Lucifer who looked at Castiel mildly impressed. Their father urged the men to their seats at the front. 

"You okay?" Dean whispered. Castiel nodded. 

"Yes." Castiel replied hoping Dean understood. Castiel looked down at Deans hand which was twitching. 

"I know, I know." Dean whispered. "I am trying really hard." Castiel nodded weakly. "You're not okay, and I want to hold you." Dean whispered. Castiel nodded again. 

The priest started speaking at the front and they both looked up. All eyes were facing forward and Castiel resisted the urge to lean against Dean and have him wrap an arm around him. He felt bitter and cold and there was nothing he wanted more than to go home and crawl into bed with his husband. Dean seemed to agree and he placed a hand on his own knee and gently touched Castiels knee with an outstretched pinky. Castiel wanted to laugh at Dean pushing the boundaries. Instead he kept his face forward and blank. 

Suddenly the priest stopped talking and stepped aside. His father stepped up to the podium and began to speak. He talked about love and forgiveness and he seemed to ignore the fact he could not love and forgive his son for being who he was. The irony was not lost on Dean who poked him in the leg again. Castiel bowed his head to hide the smile. He counted his blessings that Dean applied for the add for his flat, and that he had gone with him to Lawrence for Christmas. He let himself cry tears of joy that even in his darkest hour he had Dean to poke him in the leg to remind him he wasn't alone. He vowed in that moment he would bake the biggest pecan pie for him and never get mad at him, even when he leaves his dirty socks in the sink.

Castiel looked up, eyes fresh with tears and Dean looked over concerned. Castiel shook his head as if to say he'd explain later. Dean poked him in the leg again to say he understood.

 

In turn Castiels older brothers said their piece and there was a moment of silence as the pallbearers lifted the casket and carried it out of the church and into the graveyard. Slowly the mourners followed. Dean and Castiel waited until the church was empty before standing and making their way out. In a heartbeat Dean grabbed at Castiels hand, squeezed it and let it fall again. Castiel remained expressionless as they made their way to the gravesite. 

The air smelled of soil and the wind was beginning to bite. Everyone surrounded the grave as the Casket was lowered, Dean and Castiel hung back and watched from a little distance. They still restrained themselves from public displays of affection, even though they were sure no-one was watching. 

"Castiel." A voice said from behind them. Castiel turned and met the golden gaze of Gabriel. "I am surprised you came."

"I came to pay my respects." Castiel said flatly. 

"I am also surprised you brought him." Gabriel said indicating to Dean. Dean looked away scowling.

"He is my Husband." Castiel said.

"I know that Cassie. I know that. I also know that I warned you that the family would not take this lightly, and from what I have heard from Michael and Luci, they're going to corner you at the wake." Castiel looked at Dean. Dean looked back, the scowl still present.

"I see." Castiel said. "I thank you for the warning Gabriel." Dean looked at Gabriel and gave him a tight lipped smile that didn't reach his eyes. Castiel touched Dean on the arm.

"Shall we go to the wake or go home my love?" Castiel asked. Deans cheeks burned red at the use of the term of endearment. He looked Castiel in the eyes and there was a spark of defiance that made him want to say lets go to the wake, but he paused.

"It's up to you sweetpea." Dean replied. Castiel nodded, he understood that Dean was worried for him, worried he couldn't protect him. Castiel smiled at Dean, so bright that it made Deans heart flutter.

"I think I need a drink and something to eat." Castiel said. Dean nodded. Gabriel seemed to deflate. Castiel turned back to him. "I am not afraid of them Gabriel." Gabriel shook his head.

"Don't say I didn't warn you Cassie." Gabriel said. Castiel sighed heavily as Gabriel walked off. Dean looked at Castiel whos jaw was set and his eyes steely.   
"Are you sure about this Cas?" Dean asked. Castiel shook his head. 

"I don't know Dean. I just, despite everything, they are still my family, and sometimes I do miss them." Castiel said. Dean looked a little frustrated.

"I really need to hug you right now." Dean offered. Castiel smiled. 

"I know you do." He replied. Dean smiled wanly back. "You'll just have to hold on until we get back to the hotel." Dean nodded and toed the grass with his shoe.


	15. Wake

They started walking towards the Church Hall. “I love you Cas.” Dean whispered. “I don’t know if I say it enough.” Castiel smiled at his shoes. 

“You don’t say it. But you don’t need to.” Castiel replied, he looked up and met Deans eye. Dean looked windswept and handsome. Castiels expression softened. “I love you too.” Dean smiled, but there was a hint of relief in his eyes. “Maybe I’m the one who needs to say it more.” 

“You are adorable.” Dean said. He was about to lean forward and kiss him, but he paused remembering his promise. 

“Come on,” Castiel said, Dean took Castiels wrist in his hand and stopped him.

“Let me take you out for lunch.” Dean said. The worry more apparent in his face. “We’ll go somewhere fancy, just you and me.” Dean was facing the church hall and staring at it over Castiels shoulder. He looked at Castiel, meeting his eyes again. “There’s nothing in there but wolves, posing as sheep.” Dean whispered.

“But they are my family.” Castiel said.

“Alright.” Dean whispered. “Alright, Cas, I know that this is what you want.” Castiel nodded. Dean steeled himself. “Lets go inside.” Castiel nodded again.

“You’re scared for me, I know.” Castiel said. His eyes were bright. “But we’ll be fine.” Dean glanced around checking if anyone was around. He pulled Castiel into a tight hug, wrinkling his coat. He let loose a shaky breath and closed his eyes.   
Castiel placed his hands on Deans back. “It’ll be okay.” 

“I know Cas.”

Dean opened the door. Castiel walked in first and the whole world stopped for a moment. Castiel knew in that instant he had been wrong. All eyes fell on him, and he felt like they were staring daggers. If there was a wind that could have passed through the hall it would have been cold and twisted around flakes of snow. He blanched and understood that these people were strangers, and he was to them an enemy instead of an estranged relative. He felt a hand on his elbow and all the wrongness fell away.The hand urged him deeper into the room towards the tables, and he heard a comforting voice in his ear. It was warm, and it sounded more like home than it ever had in the past.

“I think they have mini pies.” 

They made it to the table and Dean piled a napkin with Mini pies and cakes. He poured Castiel an orange juice. Castiel watched his husband, and while his expression was genial, and his demeanour light, his eyes were sharp and wary.   
Castiel prised his eyes away and looked around. He could see them whispering behind hands, and shooting glances. He wondered at the decisions that led him here and he caught site of his littlest sister Hael. Her bright eyes were trained on Dean.

“Ughh, these are amazing.” Dean said, his cheeks full of pie. Castiel urged Dean away from the table. Castiel looked around and his eyes met his fathers for the first time. He found himself searching for forgiveness or acceptance, and for a moment, he was the only one in the room. Castiel felt Dean nudge him, and hand him a mini chocolate cake. Castiel didn’t look away, but his father did. The bottom fell out of Castiels stomach. It was as if his father didn’t recognize him, didn’t want to know him. He may as well never have existed, The defiance which had filled him earlier had vanished leaving him empty. He realised it was never about defying his father, it was about still wanting to be accepted. He shrank, when he understood he was never going to get it.

“I’ve changed my mind.” Castiel whispered. Dean looked at him in surprise.

“You wanna leave?” Dean asked. 

“Yeah, Dean, I do.” Castiel said. Dean reached out and stuffed a pile of mini pies into his jacket pocket. Castiel shook his head and smiled.

“Pie is Pie Cas.” Dean whispered. 

“Please, lets just go Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delays - my tablet died and I ended up losing this as well as so many other half finished fics (including a 48 page castle supernatural cross over) and because of my masters, I didn't have have time or energy to rewrite stuff. So here it is the final chapters.


	16. Chapter 16

“Alright,” They stepped out into the parking lot, and while Castiel was beginning to relax, Dean was beginning to tense. Dean was sure they needed to get to the car as soon as possible, to prevent anything from happening to one or both of them.

They were halfway to the car when Dean felt a hand on his shoulder. Dean spun around and was shoved backwards into a larger mans arms. He was build large and strong, Dean didn't struggle when his arms were being held behind his back. He knew struggling could mean something worse.

He recognized Michael, and Hael. The other four he didn’t know, but the look on Castiels face told him that they were all his siblings. Dean met Castiels eye, but Castiel quickly averted them.

Dean didn’t fight the hold that was on him, he waited for Castiels instruction. Castiel glanced his way again and with wide and terrified eyes he shook his head. Dean nodded, and he knew he must look equally as frightened. 

“I thought it was time for a discussion.” Michael said. Castiel could only nod his head. His eyes fixed on Michael. He grabbed Castiel by the collar of his shirt and pulled him a few meters away. Dean watched as Michael whispered into Castiels ear. Hael laughed loudly, and the arms gripping Dean tightened on him when he involuntarily lurched forward.

Dean tried to listen to what was being said, but Hael was spouting the same nonsense she had in the bar. Abomination this, against god that, Dean was 3 more f words from spitting in her face. 

The time it took Castiel and Michael to have their conversation, was long enough for Dean to lose his patience. Before he could make his move Hael walked up to Dean who looked at her with as much disgust as he could muster. She didn’t say anything to him, but she looked at him with a kind of curiosity that one has when they are looking at a strange creature in a zoo. It was not a kind curiosity, she looked as though she was one spit in the face from murdering him. 

Dean turned back to Castiel who was slightly hunched over, he was staring at the ground, instead of at Michael who was looming over him. Dean shook himself out of their grip and marched towards Cas. He grabbed him by his upper arm and pulled him away from Michael. The laughter of his siblings rang in their ears. Dean wrapped an arm around his husband and rubbed his back. 

“You okay?” Dean asked. Castiel said nothing, but the tears running down his cheeks told him enough. “You want a mini pie?”

“No Dean.” Catiel sniffed. 

“I don’t either.” Dean said pulling the pies from his pocket and dropping them on the ground. He kissed Castiel’s temple. 

They got into the car and Castiel leaned his head against the window. They drove to the hotel and changed. They were too tired to drive home, so they curled up in bed and tried to sleep. As the sun set, they lay like spoons, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas.

“Cas,”

“Yes Dean?”

“Talk to me.”

“Dean...” Castiel said.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to.” Dean said. “I just want you to feel better. I know when you’re hurting. You get all quiet,” 

“I’ll be fine, Dean, I just need sleep.” 

“Okay, Cas.” Dean kissed the back of Castiels head. “I love you.” Castiel didn’t reply.


	17. Chapter 17

Castiel lay down on the bed when they got home. Dean pottered around in the kitchen to prepare food, he knew Castiel must be hungry. He made two egg white omelettes, made a pot of Castiels favourite tea and called him down to eat.

Castiel walked down the stairs and arrived in the dining room. He looked despondent and miserable.

"Hey, Cas,” Dean said. Castiel stared at the plate and pushed it around with his fork. Dean sat next to him and tucked in. Castiel took a couple of bites and then put his fork down. 

“Dean,”

“Yes?” 

“I don’t think I can go to work tomorrow.” He said. 

“Alright, you want me to call in for you?” Dean asked wiping his mouth on a napkin. Castiel shrugged and his eyes met with Deans for a moment. Castiel took another bite and sipped his tea.

“I’m tired.” He said. Dean nodded and let Castiel leave the table and retreat upstairs.

Dean watched Tv in the living room for the rest of the day, giving Cas his space. He ordered Pizza for dinner, but Cas didn’t come down, so he put half in the fridge. He decided at about 8pm that he should go to bed.

Castiel was lying on his side, staring at the wall. Dean lay down on his side of the bed and attempted to wrap his arms around Cas, when Cas shrugged him off.

“No, please don’t.” Castiel said. Dean pulled away, surprised.

“Oh, Okay.” Dean replied and lay back down on his side of the bed.

“Dean, can you sleep on the sofa tonight?” Castiel asked, his voice cracked like he was holding back tears. Dean climbed out of bed, feeling slightly hurt.

“Sure, thing Cas.” Dean said climbing out of bed. He walked down the stairs and pulled a spare blanket and pillow from the linen closet. Feeling a little lost and confused he lay down on the sofa and fell asleep.

________________________________________________________________

He woke the next day and got himself up for work, but was a little distracted. He maintained to his boss that everything was fine. He missed Castiel, so he cancelled his afternoon meetings and went home with Sushi. Castiel hadn’t moved from the bed. He looked, pale and there were dark circles under his eyes.

Dean placed the sushi within reach.

“Cas,” Dean asked. “You want me to call in for you tomorrow as well.”

“I quit.” Castiel said rolling over so his back was facing Dean.

“You quit?” Dean asked. Castiel shrugged his shoulders. “Sweetie, you loved your job. You worked hard for it, wh-"

“-I just don’t want to go back.” Castiel replied, sounding annoyed. "I called them today and told them I won't be coming back."

“Talk to me Cas.” Dean whispered. Castiel pulled the blanket over his head. Dean sat on the edge of the bed and took his shoes off.

“Can you sleep on the sofa again tonight?” Castiel said. Dean frowned.

“If you want me to.” Dean said. 

“Please, Dean.” 

Dean nodded and made his way back down stairs. He wondered about clearing their spare room and fitting an extra bed, so he didn’t have to continue sleeping on the sofa, but to him it felt like accepting that Cas didn’t love him anymore, and that feeling made him feel ill, made him feel wrong inside.   
But it continued for another five days. By the end of the week, Castiel had started to smell, he hadn’t moved from the bed, hadn’t showered, and only left it to relieve himself.

Dean climbed the stairs, and flung the blanket from the bed, he scooped Castiel into his arms, and dropped him into the waiting bathtub, fully clothed.

“Dean!” Castiel shouted. Dean ignored the shout and changed the sheets and blankets on the bed.

He returned to the bathroom and found that Cas had removed his clothes and thrown them on the floor. Without a word, Dean picked them up and took them down to the laundry room.  
Dean made his way up to the bathroom and he sat down on the toilet. 

“Cas.” Dean started. “I’m sorry.” Castiel didn’t reply. Dean didn’t know what else to say. “I know you need time. However long it takes.” Dean looked at his feet. “I’ll sleep on the couch again, and for however long it takes.”

Castiel shrugged and said nothing.


	18. Chapter 18

It went on for another three weeks. Dean had been working overtime to make up for the money they were no longer getting from Castiels job. He knew they would be fine, but the worry was getting to him. 

He didn’t know if Cas was eating during the day, and when he got home, he would cook for Cas, only to have him eat a few bites or turn his nose up at it. He lost a staggering amount of weight, and so did Dean, working so many hours, and his perpetual worry.   
One morning he got a call from Sam.

“I’m really worried Sam, he’s not eating, he doesn’t sleep, and he barely acknowledges I'm there.” Dean said. 

“Have you tried talking to him.” Sam asked.

“Every time I bring him food, but he shrugs, and he won’t look me in the eye. I’ve been sleeping on the couch for the last three weeks. He flinches whenever I try to touch him.”

“You without sex?” Sam asked.

“Dude, I don’t care about the sex, I miss it sure, but I would miss coffee if I wasn’t allowed to drink it, I can live without it.” Dean said. 

“Are you going to leave him?” Sam asked. "If you're this unhappy -"

“Leave him? Are you crazy? No! The only way we would separate is if he said he wanted to split. It wouldn’t come from me. I love him, I will always love him. He’s just depressed, enough time, and enough support, he’ll start to get better.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don't know man, I miss his smile.” Dean said, he fiddled with the egg timer on the counter. “I miss the way he used to look at me like, like I was the dumbest and cutest thing he ever met. I miss doing stupid stuff together, like firing marshmallows at each other, or dancing in the kitchen to old show tunes. I want to see him smile again. I want him to be happy, and if that means he wants me to leave then I will. But I will cry so hard.”

Castiel stood the stairs and listened to the conversation. Tears streamed from his eyes, and he was trembling like a leaf. A new feeling of guilt washed over him. He sank down to the floor and sat down on the stairs. He stared at his hands wondering how he was going to move forward.

“So what will you do?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know.” Dean said. “but what I’m doing isn’t working.” 

“Why don’t you come down and visit, we haven’t seen each other in forever, you know Jess is ready to burst and we would love to have you and Cas here when she pops.”

“Yeah, god, I’m gonna be an uncle. But man, I can’t think about dragging him cross country like this. He’s not the right frame of mind, and I can’t in good conscience leave him behind.”

“Alright, another time.”

“Oh definitely. I’m gonna be an Uncle.” Dean sighed heavily. He had been hoping to talk Cas into adopting, but there was no way he would agree, not now. "I'm gonna be the best uncle."


	19. Chapter 19

Dean walked into work that morning with Sams conversation still buzzing in his head. He knew leaving Cas was off the table. He couldn’t leave him in his time of need. 

He nearly had a box of tools drop on his head when his boss dragged him into his office.

“You have been distracted lately.” Mr Singer said as Dean sat down in the chair opposite the bosses desk.

“I’m sorry sir.”

“Problems at home?” he asked. Dean shrugged.

“My Cas hasn’t been feeling well lately. I’ve been sleeping on the sofa.” Dean said. 

“Look, Dean, you can’t let your home life seep into your work life.”

“I know, Mr Singer.” Dean said. 

“How long have you been working here?” He asked.

“Five years.” 

“I’m giving you the afternoon off, go buy some flowers, go buy chocolates, and make sure you’re on time for work tomorrow.”

Dean nodded and stood up. He rushed out of the door and out to his car. He went to the nearest florist and picked up a bouquet of Castiels favourite flowers, and he picked up Castiels favourite chocolates, and even if he didn’t like that, he picked up his favourite liqueur.   
He sped home, practicing to himself what he would say, how he would declare his love for Castiel all over again. 

When he got home, he unlocked the door and his heart dropped to his knees. The entire living room was filled with boxes. All the boxes from the spare room had been taken out. Boxes from their wardrobe had been left by the sofa. He saw the build-a-bear he had made Castiel of a green eyed kitten wearing a leather jacket was sitting on one of the boxes. He had made it for when Cas went to conferences and Dean couldn’t tag along, so Cas wouldn’t get lonely. 

His mind raced and he realised Cas was moving him out. Spots appeared in front of his eyes and his breath came in gasps. 

“Dean?” He heard Castiel call. “Dean, is that you? You’re home early, I didn’t expect you home for another three hours.” Deans tried to speak but his throat had closed up and his mouth had turned dry. His knees buckled and he fell, the bottle, the chocolates and flowers fell to the floor. Tears poured from his eyes and he tried to breath but it only came in gasps. His mind vaguely assured him he was only having a panic attack, but the feeling was much much worse than he could have imagined.

Castiel was wearing rubber gloves when he came out of the kitchen, his hear was stuck up everywhere. Dean's brain which was in meltdown mode unhelpfully suggested that Cas looked cute.

“Dean?”

“If-f- You want” He took another deep breath. “Leave, I” He gasped again, and he started sobbing. Castiel rushed over and knelt beside Dean.

“What? Dean, do you think I’m kicking you out?” Castiel asked. Dean nodded and burst into more tears. “No, Dean, I don’t know whether to be insulted you thought I would leave you, or flattered that that thought brought this reaction.” He pulled Dean into a tight hug and ran his fingers through his hair. “No, I heard your conversation with Sam this morning.” Deans breathing eased a little, as he buried his face into Castiels neck. Castiel rubbed his back.

“You’re not leaving?” Dean asked. 

“No Dean.” Castiel replied. “I was cleaning out the spare room, I called Sam, shortly after you left, he’s coming with Jess to stay.” Dean went boneless in Castiels arms. “I didn’t think, Dean, I didn’t think how I might be hurting you.” Dean pulled away and touched Castiels face.

“No, Cas, no, You were hurting, I should have been more supportive, I should have called a doctor.” Dean said. He wiped the tears from his face. Castiel touched his face and smiled. He looked at Dean like he was the dumbest and cutest thing the world which caused Dean to burst into a fresh set of tears.

“Come on, come to bed. We’ll nap, and then clear away the boxes.” Castiel said. 

Castiel helped Dean to his feet and they walked up the stairs to their bedroom. Castiel had already changed the sheets, and blankets. Dean lay down and Castiel pulled him close, letting him rest his head on his chest. Dean hiccupped a couple times as his breathing finally steadied and his heart rate dropped to normal.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Castiel said kissing Deans forehead. Dean sniffled. 

“Why did you take out the cat?” Dean asked quietly. Castiel looked confused, then he smiled again.

“I was using it to practice what I would say to you when you got home.” Castiel said. “How I would apologise.” Dean chuckled.

“You don’t need to apologise Cas.” Dean said. 

“I also booked a session with a therapist.” Castiel replied. “I am not okay, but with you, and some extra help, I will be.” Dean grinned, and closed his eyes.

“I’m glad you’re back Cas. I missed you.” Dean said as he drifted off. 

“I love you too Dean.” Castiel replied. Dean grinned sleepily and then he was asleep. Castiel closed his eyes and sighed, then he too was asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

When Dean woke, it was dark, and he was warm. He reached towards Castiels side of the bed, but it was vacant.

“Cas?” He called. He walked downstairs and saw that the boxes were all tidied away. He could smell food in the kitchen and his stomach rumbled loudly. 

He heard laughter, and he knew that familiar sound, he grinned. He walked into the dining room, and there was his family. 

Castiel was sitting with Sammy and Jess at the table. Empty plates and glasses lay about the table.

“Hey Dean!” Sam said standing up. Dean hugged his brother tightly. 

“Sammy, what time did you get here?” Dean asked.

“Couple of hours ago,” They broke the embrace and Dean hugged the heavily pregnant Jess. Dean smiled at Castiel.

“Hello love.” Dean said and pulled him into a hug and kissed him. 

“Hello Dean.” Castiel replied. Dean sat down beside Cas.

“So what’s for dinner?” Dean asked, taking Castiels hand in his own.

“We left yours in the microwave.” Sam said. Dean beamed. 

“I’ll grab it soon, tell me how things are going with you Sammy.” Dean said.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

A few months later Dean and Cas were in their bed, with full bellies. Dean was lying down and gazing up at Castiel who was reading a book on Literary Theory.

“You are so cute.” Dean said. 

“I know Dean.” Castiel turned a page, continuing to read.

“So cute, I could stare at you for hours and never get bored.” Dean continued. 

“Yes Dean,” Castiel said, sounding disinterested, but the corner of his mouth was twitching. 

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about. I’m not sure if now is the right time, but it’s as good as any.”

“You want to adopt.” Castiel said flatly, but he was clearly enjoying the surprise on Deans face. “I have been thinking about that too.”

“Well?” Dean asked. 

“I think, things are going well.” Castiel said. “I think it is something we should consider.”

Dean grinned and rolled over onto Castiels lap and pushed his book to the floor.

“I think so too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END - FINALLY
> 
> It's annoying when you can't move on until things are finished. PLEASE COMMENT I THRIVE ON FEEDBACK
> 
> Also you can visit my tumblr of the same name


End file.
